


we swim in different oceans

by thegrandoptimist



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Child Abuse, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, Verbal Abuse, first chapter can be read as angst free standalone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-11-23 10:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11400291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrandoptimist/pseuds/thegrandoptimist
Summary: "Why do you want to know?"  Is Ten's response when Youngho asks him about the existence of other magical creatures.  "Aren't I magical enough for you?"It's obviously meant to be teasing, but the words strike up something deep in Youngho's chest.  He shrugs half-heartedly, embarrassed by how much the words get to him.  "Yeah, something like that."[or: Youngho falls in love with the boy from the sea.]





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> mermaid au is officially here! "but sar, doesn't the term mer _maid_ usually denote female?" well, my answer is that merpeople looks and sounds ugly and there's nobody in the world who can stop me from calling my male characters mermaids!
> 
> this first chapter can technically be read as a standalone! the tags are very mild for now and will be updated with the future chapters, but if you're not in this for the angst, you can just read the first chapter and be content.
> 
> this fic had five different working titles over the course of me writing it, but the official title is a line from bioshock infinite!  
> "we swim in different oceans but land on the same shore."

 

\-----

 

Youngho is five years old the first time he hears tales of the fish people.  He spends his days waddling around in shallow tides, collecting shells and small clams.  At night, he listens to his father tell fantastical tales of his days at sea, venturing as far as the ocean would take him.  Nowadays, his dad doesn't go too far into the harsh waves, not after his brother, Youngho's uncle, drowned in a terrible shipwreck.

Being in a fishing village by the sea meant that everyone knew at least one person who had drowned at sea.  In an attempt to keep the children safe, the tales of the fish people began to spread.

Youngho is five and his grandmother is tucking him into bed when he asks for a bedtime story.  She grins, her wrinkles stretching and the light casting wicked shadows on her face.

"Well, surely you've heard of the fish folks, right?" She asks him in a mischievous voice.  His eyes widen and he shakes his head frantically, childhood curiosity striking him hard.  His grandmother gasps.  "Your parents haven't _warned_ you about the fish folks?  It's like they want you to drown like your foolish uncle.

"The fish people live in the ocean beyond the cliffs to the west of the village.  They look like they could be human, except they got beady red eyes.  And you better hope they don't smile at you, or you'll see rows and rows of razor sharp teeth, just like a shark!  And where there should be legs, they got fishtails.  If you ever go in the water near those cliffs, these fish monsters, they're real smooth talkers, they'll lure you right into the ocean!  They can't get on land, that's why they gotta pull you in."

Youngho pulls the covers close up to his face in an attempt to hide.  "What do they do to you once you're in the water?"  He asks in a tiny voice, fear only pushing his curiosity further.

"Well, they devour you whole!"  She laughs, like it's the most obvious answer in the world.  "But you'll probably drown before they can even start to eat ya."

Youngho gasps in horror, which seems to only make his grandmother laugh more.

"And with that, it's time for you to go to bed, kiddo," she says, leaning in to kiss his forehead.  She rises up from her spot on Youngho's bed and heads for the door of his room.  "As long as you don't go in the water near those cliffs, them fish folks will leave you alone.   _Probably_."

She leaves with one final cackle, leaving a young and terrified Youngho trembling in his bed.

Youngho is five years old when he crawls into his parents' bed, crying about getting eaten by these sea creatures.

His mother brushes his hair.  "Has grandmother been filling your head with crazy stories again?"  She sighs, pulling him close to her.  "The fish people aren't real, I promise.  This is just her crazy way of trying to save you from drowning."

Youngho is five years old and he falls asleep to the repeated promise that no fish people would ever hurt him.

 

\-----

 

Youngho is fifteen years old and hasn't taken the story of the fish people seriously in years.  Not since he was nine and his grandmother passed away; without her whispering wild tales in his ear, it became easy to believe his mother's promises that she was lying.

He doesn't believe in the fish people, which is why he laughs in Yoonoh's face when the younger boy dares him to go in the water at the base of the cliffs.  It's still early summer, the young boys wild with the freedom of being out of school.  That freedom led to a series of increasingly dangerous dares.

"You don't really still think there's monsters in the water, do you?"  Youngho snorts, reaching out to pinch Yoonoh's cheek.  "You're more of a baby than I thought!"

Yoonoh swats his hand away.  "If you're not scared, then why haven't you accepted my dare yet?"

Taeyong and Taeil both chime in, cooing at him to accept the dare.  Soon, all three of his friends are all actively pushing him to accept the dare.

Youngho scoffs, yanking off his shoes.  "You can't really think I'm afraid of some bullshit they tell little kids, right?"  He asks, pulling the legs of his pants up so they bunch up around his knees.  Then he yanks his shirt over his head and starts towards the cliff.  "There's absolutely nothing to fear in that water."

Youngho's friends trot after him quickly as he strides to the cliff, cheering him on as he starts to climb down.

The climb down the cliffs isn't overwhelmingly difficult; the cliff isn't so much a straight drop down, but more a steep slope.  A tumble down the entire stretch would leave anyone worse for wear, but it's not an impossible climb to get down.  There's practically a trail beaten into the rocks from countless curious teenagers, venturing down to the water to see if anything really lives there.

Above him, Youngho can hear his friends still cheering him on, their voices getting softer as he gets closers to the splashing sounds of the water.

The base of the cliff is only about forty-five feet down, a small stretch of rocks scattered across the bottom before the water takes over.  Youngho climbs carefully, cautious of the damp and slippery ground beneath his feet.

"Do you see anything yet?"  Taeil's voice calls down, echoing along the rocks.

"I see rocks and some fucking water," he calls back when he finally climbs out onto the base, kicking a few pebbles from his feet.  He steps closer to the water, peering into the murky abyss.  "Actually, wait, I think I see-"

All his friends hear is a shriek from down below as they watch Youngho fall into the water.  

"Oh my god, did he get pulled in?"  Yoonoh exclaims, grabbing Taeil's arm in fear.

Taeyong calls Youngho's name as loudly as he can, as the three boys rush towards the path of the cliffs.  There's panicked cursing and stumbling as they try to get down by the water when the three of them hear the sound of laughter coming from below.

Youngho has pulled himself up onto the rocks, lying on his back; he's clutching at his stomach as laughs hysterically.  "I can't believe you guys fell for that."

"Youngho, you dick!"  Yoonoh screams, grabbing a pebble off the ground and lobbing it at him.  It misses him, splashing into the water next to him.

Youngho watches as his friends start to trot back up the cliffside.  He quickly hops up, hurrying towards the cliff.  "Come on, guys!  Don't leave without me!"  He yells, scurrying up the rocks.  As he gets approximately halfway up the cliff, something in the water catches his attention.

There's movement under the water, a figure that looks almost human moving just beneath the surface.  Youngho freezes, watching the figure move along, until it dips too deep for him to see anymore.  It's then that he realizes his friends have long since left the edge of the cliff, and he quickly hurries up the rest of the trail, the thought of the figure in the water disappearing from his mind completely.

 

\-----

 

Youngho doesn't _completely_ forget about the figure.

He tries to go back to the cliff the next day, only to have rains and wind cancel his plans.  His day is spent staring wistfully out the window, watching lightning flash endlessly in the distance, trees shaking and swaying in the wind of the storm.

The rains don't let up until long after the sun has set, making it too suspicious for him to sneak out to the cliffs.  All things considered, the climb down the wet rocks in the dark would probably be dangerous as well.

When he awakes the next morning to see the sun shining, he can't get out of the house fast enough.  His mother is suspicious, but he brushes her off with the excuse of hanging out with his friends.

The cliffs are, as they typically are, abandoned.  He pulls off his shoes, leaving them at the top of the cliff as he begins the trek down the pathway.  The rocks are still slippery from all the rain, making it more of a struggle than it had been the other day.  He's only about ten feet from the base, when the rock underneath him slips out from under his foot.

The fall itself isn't too painful, a few jagged rocks catching on his skin.  It's when he lands on the base, head knocking painfully against the rocks at the base.  There's a brief moment of panic as his body falls into the water beneath him, before everything goes black.

 

\-----

 

Youngho is fifteen when he wakes up on the rocks, drenched to the bone with an ache in his head.  He sits up slowly, blinking wildly as the sun glares in his eyes.  A sweeping look around reveals that he is alone on the rock.

"Hello?"  He calls.  All he's met with is his own voice echoing back at him.  Youngho rises, trying to get a better look around.  His clothes hang heavy, damp against his skin.  The pain in his skull seems to pulsate as he moves.  He calls out again.  "Is there anyone there?"

There's a splash and he catches movement out of the corner of his eye, but when he turns, there's nothing there.  It does nothing to ease the feeling of being watched.

"Please, if you're there, tell me!"

Again, he's met with nothing but silence and the splashing of waves against the rocks.  He stands for a few more moments, looking around as if he expects someone to magically appear in front of him.  Yet no one ever does.

Finally he decides to climb back over to the cliff trail, moving much more cautiously than he did on the climb down.  It takes much longer getting back up with the pounding in his head, though the rocks have started to dry in the sun, making it less slippery.

When he finally reaches the top, he takes one last look back.  Youngho swears he sees the figure of a boy, peaking just beyond the rocks at the bottom, but he blinks and the figure is gone.

 

\-----

 

"What on earth happened to you?"  His mother exclaims the second he steps into their house.  "Oh my god, is that- are you _bleeding_?"

The ache in his head turns out to be a gash, one that has been bleeding since the fall.  Youngho gives her a sheepish shrug.

"And your clothes are all wet!  Youngho, we need to get you cleaned up this instant!"

Youngho stays mostly silent as his mother tends to his wound, cleaning and bandaging it as best she can.  Worry is practically seeping off of her as she cleans up the other scraps and cuts on his body, but he manages to dodge most of her questions.

"We were just rough housing around by the water and I fell, it was an accident," he mumbles, staring down at his lap.  It's clearly a lie, but his mother doesn't call him out on it.

Instead, she purses her lips and sends him to his room to change into something dry.  "I hope you know you'll be staying home until you're all healed up, young man!"  She calls to his retreating figure.

 

\-----

 

True to her word, his mother refuses to let him out of the house for the entire following week.  It feels like he's on lockdown.  For the first few days, she tries to keep him mostly in bed for recovery, but near the end of the week, she puts him to work doing chores all around the house.  The house has never been cleaner; equally, Youngho doesn't think he has ever been more bored in his life.

There is a terrifying day where Taeyong comes knocking, and Youngho has to rush to the door before his mother can scold his friend for something he didn't do.  He pushes him out of the door and quickly shuts it behind him before his mother can find out he's here.

"Oh my god, what happened to your face?"  Taeyong blurts out immediately.

"Okay, listen, my mom thinks this happened when we were hanging out so I need you to pretend you knew," Youngho explains quickly, only to be met with a confused stare.  "Please!"

"What _actually_ happened?"  He asks curiously, leaning closer to inspect his injury.  By this point, it's mostly just bruised over, a hefty scab running across his forehead.

"I… I went back to the cliffs by myself," he mumbles, eyes cast downward.

Taeyong's eyes grow wide.  "By _yourself_?  Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"  It figures Taeyong would nag.

"Well I certainly know now!"

"Why would you go _alone_?"  He asks, eyes still wide and incredulous.  "Even if you don't believe the stories, that's fine, but you know people still drown out there!"

"I can't- I can't explain it to you yet.  It was something stupid.  Please just play along with whatever my mom says," he pleads, pouting ever so slightly.

When Taeyong finally promises to play along, the two make their way into the house.  Almost immediately, Youngho's mother arrives, ready to scold Taeyong for letting anything happen to her son.  Taeyong, true friend that he is, accepts it all with an apologetic smile.

Youngho's mother never could stay mad at his friends for too long.

 

\-----

 

It's several more days before Youngho is finally allowed the leave his house again; on the promise that he was just going into town for groceries, he immediately sprints towards the cliffs.

It's been well over a week and the curiosity of who or what pulled him out of the water has been eating away at him the entire time.   _Something_ has to be out there, and Youngho is determined to figure out what.

The cliffside is much drier than Youngho's last climb down, but he still takes his time, cautious about each step he takes.  It takes him much longer to reach the base, but he figures that's better than smashing his head open again.  Once at the base, he climbs out to one of the smaller rocks, putting him further out so he can survey the area better.  

The ocean is still today, waves rocking against the rock in gentle, rhythmic splashes.  With salt on his skin and the wind brushing through his hair, it's calming enough that Youngho could almost forget why he had come.   _Almost_ , but not quite.

He doesn't have long to stay; with the claim of only going for groceries, his mother will grow suspicious if he's gone too long.  Still, he doesn't want to leave until he figures out what is in the water.  He stands there for five, ten, fifteen minutes, met with nothing but the sound of the water.

With a sigh, he turns back to the cliff, ready to climb back and actually go to the market like he promised.  It's just as he starts to climb the slope back up that he hears something in the water; it's different the the typical sounds the waves have been making.

He turns quickly, and catches sight of what looks to be a boy around his age, peering at him from around one of the rocks in the water.  It's much too deep for him to be standing, yet Youngho is sure it would be impossible for anyone to tread there that long.

"I can see you, you know!"  He calls to the boy, certain that this will be the time he finally figures out who he is.

The boy looks startled at his words and before Youngho can process what has happened, the boy is gone.  Youngho waits another moment, waiting for him to resurface or peer around a different rock, but the moment never comes.  It's as if the boy was never there at all.

"I won't stop coming here until I find out who you are!"  He yells out, hoping that wherever the boy might be, he hears what Youngho has to say.

With one last sweeping glance around the water, Youngho turns back to the cliff and continues his climb, certain his entire trip to the market will be filled with thoughts of the mysterious boy in the water.

 

\-----

 

Youngho heads back to the cliffs a few days later, when the summer sun beats too strong and the wind carries only hot air.  The rocks sting under his feet after baking in the sun all day but it does nothing to deter him.  He's not leaving today; not until he finally figures out who he keeps seeing in the water.

He settles on one of the largest rocks at the base, sitting comfortably so he can look out into the water.  Nothing immediately catches his eye, but he's certain if he waits long enough, the figure will show up.

It doesn't take long in the beating hot sun before Youngho starts to grow drowsy, eyelids growing heavy and head bobbing slightly as he fights off sleep.  His eyes start to shut, sleep trying to settle in on him.  With the heavy sound of waves crashing into the rocks around him, it only takes a moment before he dozes off completely.

Youngho is certain he couldn't have been asleep for more than a few moments, but he wakes to the unpleasant burn of too much sun on his skin.  He yawns, eyes squeezed shut, and stretches his arms high above his head.  When he opens his eyes, he greeted with a pair of dark eyes staring back at him, wide in surprise.

Youngho only gets a brief glance but the boy is absolutely beautiful; his hair is black, though it seems to shimmer green in the light.  His skin is a warm honey color, water slowly dripping down his face and sides.  Youngho wants to stare at him forever, but instead he lets out a startled yelp.

It's the wrong move to make because the boy, only half propped on the rock, quickly drops back into the water, disappearing from Youngho's sight.

"Wait, come back!"  Youngho shouts, leaping up from his spot.  Glancing around, he doesn't see the boy anywhere, only a faint shadow moving deep under the water.  Youngho doesn't even think about what he's doing.  Instead, he quickly yanks his shirt off and dives into the water after the boy.

Youngho quickly resurfaces after entering the water, looking around desperately to see where the boy went.  All he can see is a dark figure moving deep under the water.  Seeming like the only thing to do, Youngho dives back under, swimming down towards the figure.

The water is rougher than he anticipated.  Even with his years of swimming experience, he can't quite get to the figure.  Trying to open his eyes underwater seems to only make things worse, the salt stings and seems to only further disorient him.

There's hands around his waist and suddenly he's at the surface again, gasping for air.  The beautiful boy is there is front of him, keeping him afloat.

"Why do you keep getting in the water when you're so bad at swimming?"  He asks; his voice is smooth and warm, rhythmic like the gentle push and pull of the water.

"You're real," is all Youngho manages in response, still trying to regain his composure.  There are still hands on his waist, cold even in the warm water.  It's then that he realizes his legs aren't brushing against other legs.  Instead, he feels something smooth, almost slippery; it's much too thick to be legs, but its movement is what's keeping the two of them above water.  "What are-"

The boy moves back to the rocks and pushes Youngho up onto them.  "I shouldn't even be talking to you," he says frantically, starting to slip back down in the water.

Youngho reaches out from his spot on the rock to grab the boy's wrist.  "Please don't leave," he pleads, starting into the boy's dark eyes.  "Please stay."

There's a moment where all they do is stare at one another.  Up close, the boy's sun-kissed skin has almost a teal hue to it, specifically in the apples of his cheeks and the curves of his shoulders.  His eyes are dark, nearly black, but they seem to glimmer and glint the same way the ocean waves do.

The boy finally sighs in defeat.  "I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble if anyone finds out I'm here with you," he says, but he puts his arms up on the rock and props himself there, lower half still in the water.  It's a clear sign that he's going to stay, but Youngho finds himself still holding onto his wrist, just in case.

Though it's clear that the boy is anything but human, he speaks clearly and concisely, every word perfectly understandable to Youngho.  "You speak common?"  He asks dumbly.

The boy looks as annoyed as he should be at the question.  "Of course I do.  All of my people do," he says, an arrogance in his voice making it sound like this should be common knowledge to Youngho.

At the mention of more people like the boy, an abundance of questions flash through Youngho's head all at once, but what he says instead is simply, "I'm Youngho."

"Youngho," the boy repeats, mouth moving around the unfamiliar name.  He seems to process it for a moment before he nods.  "I'm Ten."

"Ten," Youngho repeats, finally releasing his hold on the boy's wrist.  Again, there's a swirl of questions flooding his brain.  "What are- I mean uh…  Why do you keep coming back here?"

Ten shifts, propping his chin on his arm as he looks up at Youngho.  "I could ask you the same question, you know."

"Well, I keep coming back to find you."

Ten seems startled by the honesty.  Youngho swears he can see Ten's cheeks start to flood with a strange teal color, similar to the ocean water surrounding the two of them.  As if acting on instinct, Youngho reaches his hand out to touch Ten's cheek, the skin surprisingly hot; it's almost as if he's blushing.  But people blush reds and pinks, not blues and greens.  He quickly pulls his hand back.

"Are you…  You're not…" Youngho finds himself struggling over his words, so he takes a deep breath to steady himself.  "What are you?"

"Well I- I'm a mermaid, of course," Ten explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world.  "I kept coming back because we aren't supposed to interact with humans, but I was curious.  I'll get in serious trouble if anyone finds out about this."

Youngho is still processing the phrase _mermaid_ when he notices the slightly anxious tone of Ten's voice.  "Why would you get in trouble?"

"Don't you know anything about humans?"  He asks.  "You kill for sport.  My people get caught in your traps and hit with your ships and get killed by your kind.  I've been taught since I was young to stay away from land and stay away from humans."

"Well, I've been taught the same thing about you!  My grandmother told me stories of people who lived in the water with razor sharp teeth who would drag unsuspecting sailors and fishers into the water to drown them.  Maybe even to eat them."

"Well I've never eaten a human before," Ten responds matter-of-factly.

"And I've never killed a mermaid!"

The two stare at each other for a long moment before both boys break into wide grins and quiet giggles.  Youngho notes how Ten's teeth shine like pearls, but none seem too pointy.  He's not at all what Youngho had imagined the fish folks to be, and it only leaves him more and more curious.  He wants to know everything about Ten and in exchange, wants to tell Ten anything he wants to know.

Just like that, the tension between them dissolves completely and conversation seems to flow easily.  The sun slowly works its way across the sky and Youngho finds he doesn't even mind the stinging in his skin, as long as he's talking to Ten.

Soon enough, Ten lowers himself off of the rock and back into the water with a small splash.  "I would like us to meet again, Youngho.  You don't seem too bad.  For a human, that is."

"Well, you know where to find me," Youngho says, patting the rock underneath him.

Ten nods, then smiles.  "Well then, farewell for now," he says, diving back under the water.  He makes a big show, his beautiful, teal tail rising up out of the water.  Youngho is mesmerized for a moment before the tail crashes back into the water, sending a giant splash of water directly at Youngho's face.

"I bet you did that on purpose, asshole!"

 

\-----

 

That night, Youngho dreams of the sea and a boy who blushes teal.  He wakes up with a warm heart and a smile on his face.

Not that he would ever tell Ten about that.

 

\-----

 

Youngho goes back a few days later, this time with a large canteen of water and some fruits stolen from his mother's garden.  Ten in already waiting for him when he arrives, surfacing only when he spots Youngho climbing down.  From up on the rocks, Youngho can see the blues of Ten's tail shimmering brightly even through the water.

They both settle into similar spots as the last time; Ten's upper body in propped up on the rock while Youngho sits in front of him, legs crossed.

"Have you been waiting for me?"  Youngho asks with a smug grin.

Ten seems completely nonplussed by the answer, focusing instead on the small bag Youngho has.  "What's that?"  He asks curiously, reaching towards the bag to try to peek instead.

"I brought fruit from my family's garden," he explains, opening the bag.  He pulls out the contents of the bag; he brought a few peaches, ones that had fallen and were too bruised to sell at full price, as well as a few bundles of grapes.  "I wasn't sure what you'd like, but these are the best this time of the year."

Ten stares in wonder at the food in front of him, eyes wide and bright.  It occurs to Youngho that the other boy might have never eaten food like this before.  Youngho picks up the nicest peach he brought and holds it out to Ten.

"You have to be careful though, there's a pit in the middle," he says as Ten delicately takes the fruit from him.

He seems startled by the fuzzy texture and only stares with eyebrows furrowed at the pink fruit for a moment before bringing it up to his mouth.  Ten hesitantly opens his mouth and gently bites into the peach.  His eyes grow wide as the juice dribbles down his chin.

"It's so sweet!"  He exclaims, eyes sparkling in amazement.

Youngho can't help but laugh.  "Nothing but the best for you," he grins.  Ten resumes eating, rapidly tearing chunks off of the peach.  "Whoa, slow down, Ten.  I told you, there's a pit in there."

Ten grins sheepishly around a mouthful of fruit.  "Sorry, I've just never had anything so sweet before."

Youngho moves so that he's laying on his side, head propped up on his hand, as he watches Ten take slower bites, seeming to savor the fruit in his mouth.  "What do you usually eat?"

"Fish, shellfish, certain types of seaweeds or algae," he explains with a shrug.  "Living in the ocean means my diet generally also lives in the ocean."

"So you just eat all your fish raw?"  Youngho exclaims.

"No, I cook it all over a magical underwater fire," he deadpans.  "Of course it's raw, dumbass."

Youngho flushes, embarrassed at how silly his question must have seemed.  He quickly tries to change the subject.  "Does it get boring eating the same foods constantly?"  He asks, picking at the grapes he brought along.

Ten finishes his first peach, careful to avoid the hard pit in the center, and tentatively picks up a second peach, as if asking for permission.  Youngho nods slightly and Ten grins, biting into the fruit.  "It's not bad, it's just what I'm used to.  Though now that I have you, maybe I'll get to try all sorts of new foods.  You're going to spoil me."

Youngho laughs at that, and the two fall quiet for a bit as Ten enjoys his second peach.  He is once again cautious of the pit in the center and when he finishes, he turns to look at the grapes Youngho is eating.  Youngho plucks one from its stem and holds it out to Ten; the other boy bites it out of his hand, teeth grazing along Youngho's fingertips.  He can't explain why it makes him blush.

"Why is all your food so sweet," Ten whines after he swallows the grape.  "That's not fair!"

"It isn't all sweet," Youngho says, trying to force away the tingling in his hand and the warmth in his cheeks.  "Fruit is just usually sweet.  I'll bring you something different next time, I promise."

Ten seems to brighten up immediately at the promise of more food.  He leans in and opens his mouth for Youngho to feed him more grapes.

This goes on for several minutes, a peaceful silence falling over the two.  Youngho continues to pluck grapes off the vine for Ten, who is content to keep being fed by Youngho.  Youngho, unfortunately, decides to open his damn mouth and ruin the entire moment.

"My friends will never believe me that you're real," he says offhandedly, outstretching another grape towards Ten.

Ten doesn't accept the grape this time and seems to shift away from Youngho instead, moving back towards the water.  "You can't tell other people about me."

"Wha- why not?"  Youngho asks dumbly.

Ten does drop back into the water at this, taking a moment before he resurfaces.  Youngho just peers over the rock edge curiously, waiting.  "Youngho, I trust you," Ten says finally, staying low in the water.  "But I don't trust people.  I've heard too many bad stories.  I'm sure the people you know would mean no harm, but I don't want them to know about me.  When humans know, they tell other humans.  I can't do that to the rest of my people.  Please don't tell anyone about me."

Youngho stares at Ten for a minute, watching the way his eyes have turned dark and seem to swirl like stormclouds.  There's a heaviness in Ten's voice that Youngho hasn't heard before.  "I won't tell anyone,"  Youngho says.  "I promise."

Youngho is only fifteen but it feels like the most important promise he'll ever make.

 

\-----

 

It's early July when Youngho finally makes it part of his schedule to go to the cliff every single day, weather permitting.  His skin has grown tan and his cheeks are littered in freckles from all the time he spends in the sun.

Ten is almost always there.  Sometimes Ten is there waiting for him, lurking underneath the surface of the water until he arrives.  Other times, Youngho basks in the sun, dipping his feet in the water until Ten finally swims up and splashes him.

Sometimes they swim together, despite how much Ten loves to criticize Youngho.  Or sometimes, Ten will swim around the rocks, showing off while Youngho watches.  Mostly, Youngho will stretch out on the flattest rock while Ten props himself next to him, tail still dangling in the water, and the two boys will talk for hours.

"What's it like living on land?" Ten asks, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"Boring, mostly.  My mom grows fruit, so I help her with that.  Usually I go to school, but it's summer now, so I get time off," Youngho explains.  His hand had absently found its way to Ten's head, running fingers through the silky strands of hair.  His hair is surprisingly soft, with a faint hint of curl from the salt of the water.  The strands shimmer teals and blues between his fingers.

"School?  Does that mean you'll have to stop coming soon?"  If Youngho didn't know better, he would say that Ten sounded nervous.

Youngho rolls closer and ruffles Ten's hair, the few water drops still clinging to him splattering everywhere.  "I won't leave you just yet.  I still have over a month off.  And even once school starts, I can still come and visit on weekends," he explains, then moves even closer to poke at Ten's cheeks.  "Why, you gonna miss me or something?"

Ten's cheeks blush a bright teal and he starts to lower himself off the rock, seeking shelter in the water.  "It's just.  You're the first friend I've ever had."

Youngho stares at Ten in surprise, watching the boy sink lower into the water to hide his burning face.  "You're my friend too, Ten," he says, surprised by how gentle his own voice comes out.  "You're not gonna be able to get rid of me that easily."

 

\-----

 

Visiting Ten every single day gets harder as the summer goes on.  His parents have only been giving him more and more chores, convinced that it would _keep him out of trouble_.  He doesn't know what kind of trouble they think he's getting into, as the workload only grows worse the further into summer they get.  On days when the chores aren't too bad and he can slip out of the house, his friends always seem to arrive; part of him feels guilty that he would rather spend his time with Ten than with the friends he has known for years.

Despite all the obstacles and distractions, Youngho does his best to see Ten every day.  It's always worth it when Ten pops out of the water and smiles wide, eyes crinkled up and pearly teeth on display.

He can't explain why it makes his cheeks grow warm or his insides flutter, but day after day, it keeps drawing him back to the water.

 

\-----

 

The days reach their peak in mid-July, and by August, the sun sets sooner, making the days shorter and the nights cooler.  The impending end of summer looms over both of them, as does the question of _what happens next?_

"What happens to you during the winter time?"  Youngho asks one afternoon.  The sun is unbearably hot so the two have been swimming around; when Youngho grows tired, Ten has no problem keeping them both above water.

"Hmm, usually I swim to warmer areas and try to avoid bad weather," Ten explains, keeping a loose grip on Youngho as the boy floats next to him.  "Typically by the equinox, I start traveling south."

"The equinox?  But that's- that's practically a month away," Youngho says, pulling out of Ten's grasp so he can swim on his own, facing the mermaid.  "Will you- I mean, when will you come back?"

Ten gnaws on his lower lip, something Youngho has noticed he does whenever he's uncomfortable.  "Well, probably not until the spring equinox."

Youngho finds himself swimming back to the stretch of rocks they rest on, pulling himself out of the water.  He sits with his legs dangling in as Ten swims anxiously around him, still gnawing on his lower lip.

"Ten, that's- you're going to be gone for months," Youngho says, and he can't understand why his chest hurts so much at the idea.  "How could you get upset about me going back to school when you're _leaving_ for so long?"

Ten pulls himself onto the ledge, reaching out tentatively to put his hand on Youngho's thigh.  "Youngho, I need to go.  If I don't leave the cold waters and go somewhere warmer, I could potentially die.  It was wrong of me to get upset at you previously, but you must understand that this is for my own safety."

Youngho nods slowly, hyper aware of the hand on his thigh.  Ten's skin is cold and wet from the water, but he burns hot against Youngho's leg.  He feels overwhelmed and confused by everything.

"Please don't be mad at me, Youngho," Ten pleads.  "I'll come back!  You're my friend, I promise I'll come back."

Youngho places his own hand over top Ten's, amazed at how Ten's fingers seem to interlock perfectly with his own.  It seems to dawn on Youngho that there is nothing guaranteeing that Youngho himself will come back when Ten returns.  They both run the risk of never seeing each other again.  Youngho squeezes lightly around Ten's hand.  "And I promise I'll still be here, waiting for you."

A brilliant smile breaks out on Ten's face, teeth shining bright and eyes turned to crescents.  Nothing is guaranteed, but neither boy really seems to mind.

 

\-----

 

The two don't let school starting up again deter them from meeting up each day.  It isn't too difficult for Youngho to sneak away from his friends on his way home, making his way to the cliffside instead.

It's such an easy routine to fall into: go to school, visit Ten, go home to eat, sleep, repeat.

Youngho never wants it to end.

 

\-----

 

Unfortunately, the equinox comes sooner than either boy would like.  The air starts to cool off, the September air turning crisp as October inches closer and closer.  Their last day together is an abnormally chilly Saturday near the end of September.

Youngho is wearing a jacket and Ten doesn't pull himself out of the water, trying to stay adapted to the temperature.  Youngho sits on the rocks and watches as Ten swims around him.

"So this is it, huh?"  He asks in a small voice.  There is some inexplicable fear in the back of his mind that he will never see Ten again, but he refuses to voice that out loud.

He doesn't need to voice it though, because Ten seems to read his mind.  "We'll see each other again soon, I promise," he says with a warm smile.

"It doesn't feel like it'll be soon," Youngho grumbles, staring down into his lap.  He feels like a child, behaving like this, but the fact is he _is_ a child; the thought of not seeing his best friend for months on end terrifies him.  

"We're friends, right?"  Ten asks.  Youngho can only nod weakly, head still dipped down.  "Then we can handle a few months apart.  And when I come back in the spring, we'll still be friends."

Youngho stays at the rocks for a few more minutes while Ten swims about, though neither boy says anything.  There's something about simply being together that makes the prospect of saying goodbye a little less scary.

 

\-----

 

Youngho keeps going back to the cliffs even after their goodbyes; old habits are hard to break and his climb has practically become muscle memory, each step carefully calculated so he doesn't slip.

Ten is never there.

The days grow colder and colder until the rainy days turn to icy days, the icy days turn to snowy days, and Youngho can't risk climbing down the cliffs anymore.  He stops even walking that way, trying to avoid the temptation.  Eventually, the snow gets so bad that there isn't even a path to get out to the cliffs anymore; he figures it's a sign, the world telling him that Ten isn't coming back anytime soon.

Months go by and Youngho does not see Ten.  He turns from fifteen to sixteen as snow continues to pile up outside.  It's been too cold for Youngho to even _think_ about trekking out to the cliffs, but that doesn't stop the longing deep inside him.  Time seems to tick by slowly, and Youngho spends his afternoons staring wistfully out the window, waiting for the day the snow finally melts away.

School seems even more boring now that Ten isn't around.  Unlike before, when he found himself anxious for the end of the day so he could sneak off to see him, he finds himself unable to focus on anything.  The only thought that sticks in his head is that he'll be able to see Ten again soon.  As the days start to grow warmer and the piles of snow start to dwindle, his lack of focus grows worse.  Even his friends seem to notice something has changed.

"What the matter with you, man?"  Yoonoh asks, knocking their shoulders together as they trek home from school one afternoon.  "I feel like you have been zoned out for months now."

"You're like one of those girls, always fantasizing about your crush or something," Taeyong teases.  The thought makes him blush.  He doesn't have a crush on Ten, he simply misses his friend, that's all.

"I'm just tired of school and gross weather," he reasons.  "I miss last summer, I guess."

"But we hardly ever saw you last summer," Taeil reminds him.

Youngho falters; it's true that he spent most of his summer with Ten.  His own friends have no idea of how much went on without them.  "I did a lot of work and adventuring by myself.  I just miss it."

"So the crush Youngho's always fantasizing about is just the summer," Yoonoh says, then pouts.  "That's so lame."

Youngho puts him into a headlock.  "Learn to respect your elders, no matter how lame they are, you punk," he says, knocking his knuckles against Yoonoh's skull.  

His actions are enough to break the tension in his group as they all start to laugh, the focus finally off of his distant behavior.

 

\-----

 

It's April before the snow finally melts away and Youngho can climb his way out to the cliffs.  They're damp and muddy and the air is still too chilly to be enjoyable, but the potential of seeing Ten drives him onwards.

He sits out on the rocks for a few minutes, calling Ten's name out in the hopes that he's nearby.  

Ten doesn't show up.  It doesn't exactly surprise Youngho; the air is still cold, with a breeze that bites at his skin even through his thick jacket.  The sun is warm against his skin though, and it instills hope in him that Ten will be back soon.  He just has to be patient.

 

\-----

 

Patience, to Youngho, involves going back to the cliffs almost every single day.  With each day, the sun grows warmer and the wind starts to die out.  The weather practically feels like spring again, and Youngho is certain that Ten will return any day now.

And sure enough, Ten comes back.  It's a warm Saturday afternoon and Youngho is stretched out on one of the rocks, basking in the warm sun as he reads a novel for school.  He's taken to doing all of his work out here; he figures he might as well keep his grades up while he waits for Ten.  The sun has started to drift back down towards the horizon, long shadows starting to stretch across his book, when he hears a strange splashing noise from the water.  Youngho's jaw drops open when he looks up to see Ten sitting on the rock in front of him.

"Did you miss me?" Ten asks with a grin, teeth as pearly as ever.

Youngho regains his composure and snaps his jaw shut.  "Miss you?  Had you left or something?  I didn't even notice," he says nonchalantly, but with the way he hurries to put his book down and crawl across the rocks is a clear indication that he's lying.

Despite Ten's protests that he's still wet from the ocean, Youngho immediately throws his arms around the boy, pulling him into a tight hug.  Ten seems to melt into the embrace, his own arms winding their way around Youngho's waist.

"It's good to see you," Ten says, voice muffled into the fabric of Youngho's coat.  "I missed you."

Youngho presses his own face against Ten's neck, breathing in the smell of salt on his skin and sighs contently.  "I missed you too."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't typically do chaptered fics but! the second chapter is almost completely finished, so my tentative plan is to post every other week, just to allow myself time to write the final chapter. there's more explained mermaid lore in the upcoming chapters but i'm also taking a lot of liberties with the entire concept because fantasy isn't real and i can do whatever i want with it!
> 
> anyway i'm very excited to have finally shared the first chapter with you all and hope that you'll anticipate the next two chapters as well!  
> until then, feel free to find me:  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/jjeonghyuk) // [tumblr](http://seonyein.tumblr.com/) // [nct sideblog](https://00dnghyck.tumblr.com/)  
> ♡♡♡


	2. two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of the tags have been updated to reflect what happens in this chapter, please heed them accordingly. again, if you want the fluff only version, just stick to the first chapter as a standalone.

\-----

 

"Your voice sounds funny," Ten remarks upon Youngho's next visit.

Youngho's nose scrunches up in response.  "What do you mean?"

Ten seems to ponder it for a moment, dipping under the water briefly while he tries to put his thoughts into words.  "It's lower," he says, finally resurfacing.  "Not as squeaky as it used to be.  It makes you more handsome."

Youngho flushes at that.  "It's just puberty," Youngho says with a shrug, staring up at the sky so he can't see the intent stare Ten has fixed on him.  Ten has never called him handsome before; he's certain no one outside of his own family has ever called him handsome at all.

"You humans are weird," Ten giggles and then dips back under the water, cheeks flushed and teal.

Youngho can't help but think the same of the mermaid.

 

\-----

 

It is easy for them to fall back into their routine once Ten has returned from the equinox.  On school days, Youngho swings by after parting ways with his friends, always finding Ten waiting near the cliffs for him.

It's even better on weekends.  Youngho takes his schoolwork on warm days and stretches out on the rocks with Ten, teaching him the basics of human culture.  Ten is always especially fascinated by his literature lessons, mesmerized by the stories of what people on land do.

"You always make being a human sound so boring," Ten whines, rolling onto his back, head resting in Youngho's lap.  "How can it be boring when people go on all sorts of adventures?"

Youngho laughs, one hand holding his book up while the other absentmindedly begins to play with Ten's hair.  The blueish strands are getting long again, curling with the salt.  "Sorry I'm just a boring human," he jokes.  "I'll try to go on some crazy, life-threatening adventures so I have stories to tell you."

Ten seems to consider Youngho's offer for a real minute, hand resting on his chin in contemplation, before he breaks into a wide smile.  "Maybe I'm all the adventure you need."

 

\-----

 

"Are there other magical creatures out there?" Youngho asks one day, too bored to focus on his homework any longer.

" _Other_ magical creatures?" Ten repeats, tentatively.

"Well, I mean, mermaids are thought to be just folklore.  So are there other creatures like you?  Nymphs or fairies or dragons or-"

"What the hell is a dragon?" Ten cuts him off, tilting his head to the side.

"So that's a no-go on dragons, huh?" Youngho sighs, pouting a little.

The gesture is enough to make Ten giggle, which Youngho always considers a success.  "There are… Water spirits, though I don't think they count as nymphs," he explains, brows furrowed as he thinks hard about it.  "I've heard word that there are fairies, but they apparently live in forests so I've never met anything."

"I should start spending more time in the forest instead of on the cliffs," Youngho jokes, shooting a cheeky grin at Ten.  The mermaid hits him on the arm in response.

"Why do you want to know?"  Ten asks, once he has stopped giggling at Youngho's pretend hurt face.  "Aren't I _magical_ enough for you?"

It's obviously meant to be teasing, but the words strike up something deep in Youngho's chest.  He shrugs half-heartedly, embarrassed by how much the words get to him.  "Yeah, something like that."

 

\-----

 

The first day after school lets out is a crystal clear day, the sun shining warm and bright.  It's a perfect day to hang out with Ten.

Youngho puts together a small basket of food, including fruit from his mother's garden, and claims he'll be spending the day at the beach with his friends.  It's not a total lie, anyway.

It's the first real day that Youngho can be absolutely carefree seeing Ten; there's no school work, no chores, no parental worries.  Just an entire day to spend with Ten.  The entire thing feels strangely like a date, but Youngho simply brushes that thought off.  He's never even been on a date before, how would he even know what one feels like?

Ten is absolutely sparkling when Youngho arrives.  He's swimming lazily around near the cliffside, tail shimmering with every little movement he makes.  Youngho can't help but watch in awe for a moment.

Ten spots him quickly, dropping into the water and almost immediately resurfacing at the base of the cliffs.  "Is that food for me?"  He calls up excitedly.

"You're getting spoiled," Youngho chides, starting his climb down the rocky sides.  "But yes, the food is for you."

Mermaids don't wag their tails like dogs do, but Ten might as well from the way he practically vibrates with excitement, smiling wildly.  He hops up onto the rocks and awaits Youngho, smile never once breaking.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you if you make an ugly face for too long, it'll stick?" Youngho asks when he finally reaches the base of the cliff and sees that Ten is still grinning.

"Oh, is that what happened to you?" Ten shoots back, raising an eyebrow.

Youngho stares blankly at him for a moment before he cracks a smile.  "I think I'm a bad influence on you."

Ten ignores him in favor of grabbing the food basket out of his hand, quickly sifting through it for anything worthwhile.  He finds a peach waiting for him; it's one of the good peaches, something Youngho certainly shouldn't have taken as it could have been sold.

Immediately, the mermaid bites into the fruit, some of the juice dripping down his chin.

"If this is being spoiled, I don't ever want you to stop spoiling me," Ten says with a dreamy smile.

It should be gross; Ten is talking with his mouth full as peach juice dribbles down his face.  Yet a knot of affection starts to twist in Youngho's stomach as he watches Ten eat.  It's a sensation he's never felt before, one that he can't help but think feels like love.

He thinks maybe he's just hungry instead and joins Ten in eating.

 

\-----

 

On an abnormally hot June day, Youngho pulls his shirt and shorts off, joining Ten in the refreshing water.  The mermaid's cheeks and shoulders are a surprising shade of teal, but Youngho just assumes it's from the sun beating down on both of them.

"Do you trust me?" Ten asks cautiously, swimming circles around Youngho.

"There's no one I trust more," Youngho answers honestly, not even feeling abashed by the severity of his own words.

"I want to show you something," Ten says, reaching out to grab Youngho's wrist.  "But I need you to trust me."

Youngho nods, allowing Ten to pull him further out into the water.  There's a twinge of nervousness deep in Youngho's stomach as they move farther and farther away from the cliff base, moving parallel to the rocks.  The water seems to grow rougher as it gets deeper, but Ten positions himself so he can easily keep Youngho afloat; just like that, any nervousness disappears.  Youngho trusts Ten.

It takes a few minutes, swimming along the cliffs where they grow sharp and steep, unclimbable by any human.  Within the cliff side is a wide crack that Ten helps float Youngho towards.

"This is where I live," Ten explains, as the crack opens up into a wide cave.  Youngho has to blink a few times, eyes still adjusted to the bright sun, before he can properly see within the dark cave.

It doesn't seem like much to Youngho; growing up by cliffs and the ocean just meant that caves were caves.  But Ten seems so proud of his space, beaming brightly at Youngho as he glances around.

"It's wonderful, Ten," Youngho tells him.

It's like Ten blossoms at Youngho's compliment, cheeks turning a bashful shade of teal as he grins even wider.

"I don't know that you'd be able to swim to it on your own, but you're welcome here any time!" Ten explains, pulling Youngho deeper into the cave.  There's a stretch of high rocks, tops sitting above the water, that Ten pushes him up onto.  "A perfect hideaway for you and me."

Everything about the moment is perfect; the warm air, the gentle sounds of the water splashing, Ten smiling brightly up at Youngho.  He's certain nothing will ever be more peaceful than this moment, so Youngho smiles softly down at Ten.

"I'd like that a lot."

 

\-----

 

"You know," his mother begins one morning, as Youngho's family sits down for breakfast.  "If you keep spending all of your time with those friends of yours, you'll never find yourself a girlfriend."

Youngho freezes, food halfway to his mouth.  A girlfriend?  He barely had time for his real friends, he couldn't imagine trying to balance spending time with a girlfriend on top of that.  All of his time these days went towards Ten.

"What makes you say that?"  He finally manages to croak out, suddenly feeling small under his mother's unbreaking stare.

"Well, none of them have girlfriends, do that?"  She explains.  "If you only ever spend time with those boys, you'll never meet a nice girl.  How are you supposed to settle down and make grandkids for me if you don't know any girls?"

Everything about her statement feels wrong.  The words grate at Youngho's skin, leaving him tense and uncomfortable.  

"Well maybe when Taeyong and I are both thirty-five and still single, I'll just marry him instead," Youngho says with a laugh.  It's _funny_ , the thought of him marrying Taeyong.

But his mother isn't laughing.  "Boys aren't allowed to marry boys," she says through clenched teeth.

"Aren't I too young to be worrying about that sort of thing anyway?"  He continues on as if she had never spoken, desperate to escape the growing tension.

His mother fixes him with a pointed look.  "Your father and I met when we were your age."

At mention of him, Youngho's father finally sighs and looks up from his plate.  "But I can promise you I wasn't thinking of marriage or children when we met.  Just let the boy be a kid for a little while longer."

The conversation ends with that, but Youngho can't help the disdain that's still crawling along his skin.  He refuses to make eye-contact with her for the rest of the meal.

 

\-----

 

"Do mermaids get married?"  Youngho blurts out the next day, the conversation with his mother still rattling around in his head.

Ten is swimming lazy laps back and forth in front of Youngho, who has given up on treading water and is simply clinging to the cliffside rocks instead.  He slows his swimming to give Youngho a quizzical look.

"I mean, yeah, but I don't really think it's the same as it is for humans."

"What do you mean?"  Youngho asks.

Ten dips under the water for a moment, gathering his thoughts.  When he does resurface, he stares at Youngho for a long moment.  "Marriages are more… Business for us, I guess.  They're usually more for merging family powers or combining territories.  They aren't really some big symbol of love for us or anything."

"So does that mean someday you're going to have to marry some girl to make your family happy?"  He asks nervously.  It's hard to tell whether he's directing that question to Ten or to himself.

"Probably not.  I'm the youngest of my family so those responsibilities usually go to the elders," Ten explains, shrugging.  "Besides, my family wouldn't really force me to marry a girl when they know I like boys."

Youngho's chest feels tight suddenly and he's thankful for the support the cliff wall is giving him.  "Are- you're allowed to marry boys?"

Ten must catch the way Youngho's voice trembles because he immediately swims up to him, wrapping his arms around him.  The action is enough to break Youngho, tears finally streaking down his face.

"You can love whoever you want, Youngho," Ten whispers, holding him close as he keeps them both afloat in the water.  "There's nothing wrong with who you decide to love."

Youngho's only response is to keep crying, letting the salt of his tears mix with the salt of the ocean.

 

\-----

 

They don't talk about that afternoon; don't talk about how Youngho cried in Ten's arms, don't talk about what the conversation implied about Youngho's own orientation.  They didn't talk about any of it, but sometimes Ten would grab his hand and give it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.  No words need to be said for Youngho to know that he's not alone, not anymore.

 

\-----

 

It's midsummer and Youngho doesn't have very long to visit Ten, claiming to only be on a market-run for his parents.  It still gives him enough time to make his way out to the cliffs and visit Ten.

"You know you don't have to see me every day, right?"  Ten laughs when Youngho explains his reason for the short visit.  He doesn't bother getting out of the water and sitting on the rocks on days like this.

"But I like seeing you," Youngho answers honestly, meeting Ten's stare.  The mermaid looks startled for a moment, eyes going wide before he drops under the water for a moment.

He resurfaces and looks up at Youngho with resolve.  "Can you come closer for a second?"  Ten asks, grabbing onto the rocks to support his upper body.  Youngho is confused but doesn't hesitate to lean closer, even as Ten starts to push himself out of the water.

Youngho is sixteen and he has his first kiss.  It's slightly strained, with Ten stretching up out of the water to reach his mouth.  Ten tastes like the ocean; his lips are salty yet Youngho wants to drown himself in the kiss.  The kiss is nothing more than a gentle peck, Ten almost immediately pulling back.

Youngho's face blushes impossibly red as he pulls away, sitting up completely on the rock.  Ten sinks down into the water so that only his eyes are above, but Youngho still catches the teal blush that washes over his skin.

"You should go, before your mother starts to worry," Ten says after a moment, resurfacing enough to speak.  His cheeks are still tinged the color of the ocean, a sign of his own embarrassment.  Youngho wonders idly if this is Ten's first kiss too; he also can't help but wonder how long Ten has been planning to kiss him.

"I… I should go," Youngho agrees, though he makes no move to leave.  "Before I go, can I…  I'd like to kiss you again."

Like waves crashing over him, Ten's cheeks flare up bright teal again.  He opens and closes his mouth a few times before he hesitantly nods.  He grabs onto the rock and properly pushes his upper body out of the water, moving so he's sitting next to Youngho.  Youngho is mesmerized by the way everything about Ten glitters; from the blue scales of his tail to the water droplets clinging to his eyelashes, everything about Ten absolutely sparkles.

Youngho reaches out, placing his hand tentatively on Ten's cheek as he moves in slowly.  He watches Ten's eyes nervously flutter shut; Youngho takes a final breath to prepare himself before taking the plunge.  He moves forward completely, pressing his lips again Ten's.

The kiss is infinitely better than the first one.  They're at a much more even height this time, meaning neither has to strain awkwardly.  Youngho doesn't feel sparks or anything like that but instead finds himself drowning in Ten's presence; he smells like the sea-breeze and tastes like his favorite seaweed treats.  Everything about him is so familiar.  Ten's skin is soft and warm underneath his hands, and his lips move fluidly against Youngho's.

He pulls away, breathing heavily.  Ten's face is warm against his hand, cheeks glowing brightly.  

"I should go," Youngho repeats.  "But can you promise me something?"

Ten nods, eyes still glazed over like he's in a daze.

"When I see you tomorrow, can we do a lot more of that?"

Ten laughs, the sound rhythmic and bright.  He leans in to gently kiss Youngho's cheek and then nods.  "I promise.  Now go before you get in trouble!"

He drops into the water, taking away the potential for any more kisses.  However, he waits beneath the rock, treading slowly, watching Youngho gather himself and start towards the cliffs.  They wave to each other one last time before Youngho begins his climb.

Only when he's at the top of the cliffs does he hear the telltale splash of Ten disappearing back into the water.

 

\-----

 

They do kiss a lot more.

Ten climbs on the rocks to give Youngho a greeting kiss.  Then when Youngho climbs into the water, he gives Ten another kiss.

One kiss turns to two, turns to three, turns to four, five, six, until Youngho has lost count.

The only thing on his mind is Ten, Ten, _Ten_.

The same knot of affection twists itself deep in his stomach but this time, it's a little less scary to call it love.

 

\-----

 

"I wish I could live in the ocean with you," Youngho says offhandedly one afternoon, floating on his back as he stares up at the clouds above.  "Too bad there's no magic for that."

Ten is unusually quiet at that, which leads Youngho to shift from floating to treading in the water so he can look at the other boy.  Ten is frowning deeply at Youngho's comment.  It's unbelievably tense and he wishes Ten would just _say something_.

"Did I say something wrong?"  Youngho asks, unable to endure Ten's stare any longer.

"Your people really don't know anything about mermaids, do they?"  Ten says, voice almost bitter.

"Ten, I don't- what's wrong?"  Youngho swims towards the rocky cliffs so he can pull himself onto stable ground, knowing this isn't a conversation to have while he swims.

Ten follows after him, the frown still tugging at his lips and a furrow deep between his brows.  "Youngho, I don't know what kind of stories you heard or what kind of magic you think mermaids have but-" he cuts himself off with a deep sigh and drops under the water for a moment.  Youngho worries that he might never resurface as he stares down into the murky waters but he knows that this is often what Ten does when he's overwhelmed.  Ten had even explained to Youngho once that sometimes he found comfort in being engulfed in water.

Ten eventually does resurface, still looking distressed as he gnaws on his lower lip.

"You don't need to tell me, Ten," Youngho offers.  "I'm sorry that whatever I said upset you, though."

"No, no, I should tell you," Ten sighs and pulls himself onto the rock next to Youngho.  Instinctually, Youngho reaches his hand out and laces it together with Ten's.  "You know how you told me once that you had heard stories about mermaids?  That my people drown or even eat sailors and other people we find in the water?  It's not entirely untrue."

Youngho can't hide the surprise that paints itself across his face.  In all the time they have spent together, Ten never once seemed like he wanted to drown him.  Youngho had officially brushed all those stories his grandmother had told him as exactly that: stories.  Lies, even.  He feels his hand accidetanlly tense in Ten's grasp.

"But it's not what you think!"  Ten exclaims quickly, trying to ease the panic he can see on Youngho's face.  He holds tightly to his hand, almost afraid to let go, as if letting go would mean never holding Youngho again.  "We don't- mermaids don't drown people.  We have no reason to drown them, you know?  And we definitely don't eat people.  But when they drown, we can… we can save people.  Save their spirits, at least.  Most of the time.  Or only sometimes, I guess.  When we find humans who are drowning and we can't save them, well, we turn them into water spirits.  They don't die exactly, but they're bound to the water forever once we've turned them into spirits.  It works most of the time but… Not always.  A lot of human spirits are lost because we couldn't save them.

"I guess humans assumed since mermaids were always spotted when people drowned that we were the ones doing the drowning.  It's part of the reason we're not supposed to go near humans.  The being hunted part is true, but we're bad luck as well," Ten explains, staring down at their interlocking fingers.  "It seems like whenever we're around humans, if we don't get killed by them, they always end up dying.  That's why I was scared of getting close to you.  I don't- Youngho, I love you, but I don't ever want this to happen to you.  If I tried to save you and it didn't work..."

Of all the things Ten says, only three words truly catch Youngho off guard.  "You love me?"  He asks, dumbfounded.

Ten stares at him incredulously.  "Did I just pour my heart out to you and all you got was-"

His statement is cut off when Youngho presses their mouths together in a sloppy kiss, over eager enough to knock their teeth together.  Ten lets out a startled noise but quickly adjusts, melting into Youngho's kiss.  "I love you too," Youngho breathes out, squeezing Ten's hand tightly.

"This isn't how I planned on my confession turning out," Ten giggles, leaning his forehead against Youngho's.  They stay like that for several moments, basking in each other's presence.  "Youngho, about everything else I said…"

"It's okay," Youngho says, kissing Ten gently on the forehead.  "You haven't killed me yet and it doesn't seem like that's gonna change anytime soon.  I want to be with you, Ten.  Bad luck and all."

"But what if something happens and I can't save you?"

"It's a risk I'm willing to take."

 

\-----

 

There isn't much variation in Youngho's day to day routine, especially not since he began dating Ten.  He wakes up, he eats his breakfast, he helps around the house with his chores, and as long as the weather is okay, he goes off to see Ten.  It's consistent and familiar and unchanging.

So when Youngho opens up the door to leave and crashes face first into Yoonoh, to say he is startled would be an understatement.

"Hi, uh," Youngho pauses, seeing Taeil and Taeyong standing behind him.  "I'm uh, on my way out so…"

"Yeah, out with us," Yoonoh declares, linking arms with Youngho and dragging him with them.

"You've been avoiding us all summer, and you're not getting away with it anymore," Taeil continues, linking with Youngho's other arm.

The three boys lead him off, heading in the opposite direction of the cliffs he was originally headed to.  They weave through the familiar path of trees and plants, until the green parts way to sandy beaches and blue skies.

The beach is crowded, mainly children running amuck while mothers sit in the sand and watch.  The four boys head over to a small area that had already claimed, a large blanket stretched across the hot sand.

Once they have finally settled on the blanket, Taeil and Yoonoh release their holds on Youngho's arms.

"Now," Taeyong begins, plopping down in front of Youngho.  " _Why_ have you been avoiding us?"

"I'm not- I don't… I wouldn't avoid you guys," Youngho lies, staring down at the sand that sticks to his legs.  He has always been a terrible liar.

"We're your best friends, Youngho.  You don't need to hide anything from us," Taeil encourages, nudging him with his knee.

The words strike Youngho.  "You guys still consider me your best friend?"  He chokes out, shocked.  "Even after what a terrible friend I've been?"

They all share a confused look before turning back to Youngho.  "You've always been our best friend.  We're here for you, no matter what," Yoonoh states, the others nodding in agreement.

Maybe it's the sincerity in their stares or maybe it's hearing something so serious from Yoonoh- young and immature Yoonoh who sounds almost grownup talking like that- but Youngho can't stand the idea of lying to them anymore.  Before he can even start to second guess himself, he opens his mouth.

"I've been seeing someone.  We've only been together for about a month but we met last summer," he admits, words tumbling out one after another.  He couldn't stop himself even if he wanted to.  "We- well, he's a boy.  The person I've been seeing is a boy."

Youngho bites his tongue to forcibly stop the words flowing out of him, before he accidentally mentions Ten being a mermaid.  That is one promise he doesn't plan on breaking.

"That's it?"  Yoonoh blurts out.  "That's why you've been hiding from us?"

Taeyong elbows the younger boy hard in the ribs.  "I think what he's trying to say is that you shouldn't feel like you need to hide that from us.  You're our best friend.  We'd never judge you for something like that."

"You don't- you don't think it's weird or gross that I'm with a boy?"  Youngho splutters out.

All three of his friends shrug.  "We love you, man.  So anyone who makes you happy is good in our eyes.  If you love him, we love him," Taeil explains.

"I- I do.  Love him, I mean," Youngho admits, feeling a little bashful as he stares down at his lap.  He's never been able to talk about Ten to anyone else before.  "I think you'd all really like him."

Yoonoh nudges him with his knee.  "When you're ready to introduce him, we're all here to support you."

It feels like such a weight has been lifted from his chest as Youngho lets himself fall back against the sandy blanket.  "I've missed you guys," he admits, staring at the soft clouds hanging above him.

"You know this means you can't avoid us anymore, right?"  Taeil grins, falling back next to Youngho.  Yoonoh lies down as well.

Taeyong decides he doesn't want to be left out and sprawls his body across the three other boys.  "You won't be able to get rid of us that easily."

 

\-----

 

It's a rainy day the next time Ten takes Youngho back to the cave.  The waves move roughly, stormy air stirring up the angry ocean.  But Ten keeps Youngho safe, guides him through the water and into the cave.  Inside, the waves are smaller, softer, while the air is humid and warm.

Youngho stretches out across the flat rocks, long limbs sprawling out.  Their moments in the cave together are always the most peaceful.

"Hey Ten?"  He calls into the water, listening to the way his voice echoes against the rocks surrounding them.  Ten surfaces slightly at the sound of his name, only his eyes peeking above the water.  "When did you first decide you wanted to kiss me?"

Ten's cheeks start to blush teal immediately.  "Suddenly I don't speak common, sorry," he declares, dropping back into the water.

Youngho rolls onto his side, letting one arm fall into the water.  "No, come back," he whines, splashing his hand.  He's too lazy to go into the water himself, especially knowing Ten would surface eventually.

It takes another moment but Ten does finally reemerge, face popping up inches from where Youngho's hand dangles in the water.

"Okay, you want the real answer?"  Youngho nods.  "The first time we met face to face."

Youngho's jaw falls slack, face heating up rapidly at the confession.  It's hard to imagine that Ten wanted to kiss him last summer, especially after he saved him from drowning.  Even though they've been kissing for weeks, Youngho still hasn't fully wrapped his mind around the entire concept, especially the part where Ten always _wants_ to kiss him.

"I told my friends about you," he blurts out stupidly.  "I mean.  That I have a boyfriend.  Not the mermaid part."

The cave is quiet for a moment, only the gentle echoes of waves slapping the cave walls and the distant sound of rain outside the cave.

"They… They're happy.  They see that you make me happy and that makes them happy," Youngho babbles, wanting to fill the silence.  He can't even bear to look at Ten, fearful of what his expression might be, so he stares at the cave ceiling instead.  "They want to meet you some day, but I don't know if you'd want that.  But they- I told them I love you.  And-"

Ten cuts him off, pulling himself onto the rocks so he can look down at Youngho.  They simply state at one another before Ten leans down, mouth pressing softly to Youngho's.

"I'm so proud of you," Ten whispers, hands reaching up to wipe at Youngho's damp cheeks.  He didn't even know he had started crying.

In the comfort of Ten's embrace, locked away in the peace and quiet of their secret cave, Youngho lets himself cry a little longer.

 

\-----

 

Even with the knowledge that the autumn equinox is going to once again be their cutoff date, it's still a surprise to both of them when the day finally arrives.

It's different saying goodbye to Ten this year.  After an entire summer of time together, all the whispered confessions and soft kisses they had shared, it's harder to say goodbye.  At the same time though, Youngho feels okay saying goodbye.  There are none of the lingering doubts he felt the year prior.  He _knows_ Ten will come back for him.

But that doesn't prevent the sadness he feels.

"I'll miss you a lot," Youngho confesses.  He sits on the edge of one of the rocks, feet tucked underneath himself so the chilly waves beneath him don't hit him.  Ten treads delicately in the water directly in front of him.

"I'll miss you too," Ten admits.  "But just remember, every time you look out at the ocean, know that I'm somewhere out there.  And no matter where I end up, I'll still be in love with you."

Youngho blushes and leans forward so he can stretch his arm out to touch Ten's face.  "Stay safe, okay?  I'll be waiting here when you get back."

They stay like that for a moment, Ten nuzzling softly against Youngho's hand before he finally decides to go.

Youngho climbs up the cliffside and looks back down at the water as Ten finally dives under, his tail glimmering blue and beautiful as he disappears under the surface.  He watches the faint outline of Ten slowly blur into nothingness, the last glimpse of Ten until the spring equinox.

It's a long time to wait but Youngho knows it will be worth it.

For Ten, he thinks it will always be worth it.

 

\-----

 

Youngho turns seventeen on the day of a snowstorm.

A week later, a girl from his class confesses to him.  She's pretty, with long hair that's always in braids and cheeks that are always flushed red.  The boys in his class all hoop and holler, girls in the class cooing at the confession.  Taeyong is the only one there to shoot him a concerned look.

Any boy would be lucky to date her, Youngho knows that.  Yet every time he looks at her, he compares her blushing cheeks to the wash of teal that always floods Ten's cheeks.  He sees her bright smile and thinks of pearly teeth instead.  She's beautiful but she's nothing compared to Ten.

Youngho turns her down and no one in his class can comprehend why.

 

\-----

 

The snow doesn't start to melt until well after the equinox.  It makes Youngho anxious, each passing day that feels no warmer than the last.  He knows Ten will come back.  He has to come back.  But Youngho also knows it won't be safe for Ten to come back until the water warms up.

April arrives with a series of warm storms, rain washing away any remaining snow and ice.  When the storms have parted and the sun shines brightly, Youngho finally makes his way to the cliffs.  The sea is calm, a sign of all the storms washing away.

It seems fitting that nature would clear the way for Ten.  He deserves smooth waters and bright skies.

Sure enough, the sky is crystal clear and the sun is shining the day Ten returns.  Ten positively sparkles, teal tail shimmering in the sun.  He smiles that bright, pearly smile at Youngho; Youngho swears his heart could burst just at the sight.

"Guess what," Ten says when he first arrives, grinning wildly at Youngho.

"What?" Youngho asks curiously, sitting down on the rocks in front of his boyfriend.

"I love you," Ten replies and pushes himself up out of the water to kiss Youngho.

Youngho isn't one to throw the word perfect around, but he can't think of any other word to describe Ten.

 

\-----

 

Youngho is seventeen and everything is supposed to be going well; Ten is finally home and school will be ending soon.  It should be the ideal time, but instead it feels like his life is starting to falling apart.

The winters were always hard on their family but it was spring.  That was always when business bloomed and things would finally go their way.  Instead, it brought worse fortune than the winter had.

His father has grown ill.  The little money they made from his fishing seems to dry up quickly and he's in no state to try and fix it.

Even his mother's farm stand is suffering.  Her fruit stand, which once held the promise of the _sweetest fruit in the land_ has been losing more and more business as the nearby villages gain popularity, their fruit sweeter than anything from his mother's garden.

As his classes approach their end for the summer, Youngho takes up odd jobs around the town to help make ends meet.  There's an old woman nearby whose house and yard he tends to once a week.  An elderly man pays him to make trips to the nearby towns for errands.  Most of all, to the protests of both his parents, he takes up work at the docks, helping out on the fishing boats.

It seems only natural that a boy from a fishing village would grow up to become a fisher himself, but both his parents seem to fear he would end up drowned like his uncle.  Working at the docks is the next best thing.

Youngho feels guilty when he's not working; he listens to his father cough in the other room and knows he could be doing something, anything to help the family out more.  But at the same time, working nonstop is like a curse.  He barely has time to see Ten anymore.

The mermaid knew of his struggles; he knew Youngho was taking on more work and wouldn't be around as much.  The time they do get together is somehow more precious; each kiss tastes better, each touch feels heightened, and every word matters so much more.  

"I can't help but feel like a brought on all this bad luck," Ten admits one day, ducking his head in shame.  He looks unbelievably small with the ways his shoulders hunch in on himself.  "I came back and now all these bad things are happening and…"

Youngho reaches out to grab both of Ten's hands, holding them firmly in his own.  "None of this is your fault, Ten," he declares, though Ten still won't look up at him.  "You said once that you might bring me bad luck, and I told you it was a risk I was willing to take.  I still mean that.  Nothing is worse than the thought of not being with you."

Finally, Ten picks his head up to look at Youngho; there's silvery tears glittering on the edges of his eyes, but there's a wobbly smile toying at his mouth.

"I love you so much, Youngho," he says, voice shaking.  "I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

"As long as I've got you, nothing can be that bad," he reiterates.

He leans in to kiss Ten hard on the mouth, bringing the conversation to an end.

 

\-----

 

"You look different," Ten comments one afternoon, tracing his fingers along Youngho's sharpened jaw and high cheek bones.

It's true; over the winter, Youngho had grown even taller.  His baby fat fell away, revealing a sharp face and lean muscles.  With all physical labor he's been doing lately, his muscles are especially definied.  His hair had also gotten longer during the winter, and Youngho's laziness combined with his lack of spare time meant he still hasn't cut it short again.  Youngho is too tired and content, basking in the warm air of the cave, to properly answer Ten's compliment.  Instead, he lets out a soft hum of acknowledgement.

"You're even more handsome now," Ten states, leaning in to kiss Youngho's jaw softly.  It reminds Youngho of the first time Ten ever called him handsome, back when his voice began to change.  Despite only being a year ago, it feels longer, considering how much time he has spent apart from Ten since then.

"Well you've always been pretty," Youngho remarks, rolling over so he can fully kiss Ten's mouth.

Outside, the world continues to go on, but inside that small cliffside cave, time doesn't even matter as the two boys kiss the afternoon away.

 

\-----

 

It goes on like this for awhile; Youngho struggling to finish school, while also balancing family, work, and Ten.  His friends don't bother him too much, knowing how poorly things were going for him.  Even when school ends, the balance is nearly impossible to maintain.  He brings home irregular paychecks and sneaks off at odd hours, clearly going to do anything but work.

Youngho is seventeen when his mother has finally had enough.

" _Where_ do you think you're going, Youngho?"  She asks, grabbing the scruff of his collar as he attempts to slip out the door.

"I'm just going out," he says noncommittally, staring down at his feet.  "I've got work to do."

"All you ever do is just _go out_ these days and I know it's not for your _jobs_.  Otherwise we'd have actually have enough money to pay for your father's medicine.  What's really going on?"

"It's nothing!"  He snaps, wanting to get out of the house as quickly as possible.  He wishes Ten was here to tell him all the right things to say.

"Don't raise your voice at me!"  She snaps back.  "This has been going on for months and I'm sick of it.  You can't keep lying to me and your father.  There's something more than all this work you claim to do and we know it.  So what are you _really_ doing?  Are you and your friends doing illegal things?  You haven't gotten mixed up with the local militia, have you?  Is it drinking?  Or-"

"I'm seeing someone," he blurts out, unable to endure her questioning any longer.  "From one of the neighboring villages.  We've been dating for the past year."

His mother's features soften, the crease between her brows smoothing out as a hesitant smile curls her lips.  "Oh sweetheart, why didn't you tell me?  Just because the other villages have been stealing away our business doesn't mean we'd get upset with you for dating someone.  I'm sure she's a lovely girl, you shouldn't be afraid to bring her over for a visit."

Youngho's blood runs cold.  It's been so long since he had to tell anyone about Ten that it almost slipped his mind; mermaid or not, above all else, Ten is a boy.

"Mom, it's not…"  He trails off, unsure how to put his thoughts into words.  He feels like he's drowning and briefly wonders if this is how his relationship with Ten will always feel.  His mother continues to stare at him with wide, curious eyes, prying more information out of him.  "He's a boy.  I'm dating a boy."

His mother falls silent, her face slowly hardening.  "Well, that just can't be," she says incredulously.  Her tone starts to grow irritated.  "What do you mean he's a boy?  You can't date a boy!"

"You're not serious, are you?"  He asks, fear seeping into his voice.  He starts to feel frantic.  "Mom, please, I-"

"You aren't allowed to date a boy, Youngho!"  She shouts at him, the back of her hand striking across his cheek.  "You can't see him anymore!"

Youngho feels tears well up in his eyes as his cheek begins to sting, but he refuses to let them fall in front of her.  "You can't keep me from him," he finds himself saying before he can stop himself.

"To hell I can't," she snaps.  "You'll be lucky if I ever let you out of this house again."

 

\-----

 

When night washes over and Youngho hears his mother settle into her room, the sound of his father's coughing dying away as he falls asleep, Youngho finally creeps out of his bed.  He gathers up his clothes and slips into his shoes, sneaking out as quietly as he possibly can.  Once out of the house, he sprints into the night to the cliffs, moonlight guiding his way.

The cliffs are dark and the rocks are slippery but he climbs down them anyway, trying his best to blink away the tears that keep welling up in his eyes.

"Ten!"  He calls out into the darkness of the ocean.  "Ten, please, I need you!"

He stands there for a moment, listening to the gentle ebb and flow of the waves and- and there's nothing.  Ten isn't here.  Ten isn't going to be here.

Youngho drops to his knees on the rocks and finally begins to cry.  They're loud, wailing cries that echo against the cliffs and dissipate into the night sky.  Tears flow hot down his cheeks as he collapses forward onto his hands, chest heaving.

"Ten, please, oh god," he cries out, but again, there's nothing in the water.  He feels so weak, curling up on the rock.  Youngho can barely even cry anymore, so overwhelmed by the anxiety of never seeing Ten again.

He knows that Ten is so nearby, hidden away in his cave; he also knows that any attempt to swim there would be deadly.  Waves knock violently at the rocks underneath him.  It's only fitting that the water would match the turmoil he feels deep inside.

He's not sure when he dozes off, exhausted and shivering on the rocks, but he wakes up to a figure peering down at him.  The sun must barely have started to peak over the horizon because there is a dull orange light cast on everything.

"Youngho?  What are you doing here?"  It takes a moment for Youngho to process that it's Ten leaning over him.

Youngho blinks once, twice, trying to figure out if Ten is real or not, before he sits up and throws his arms around Ten.  Almost immediately, he can feel tears spring to his eyes again.  "Oh god, Ten, I thought I'd never see you again," he breathes into the damp skin of Ten's neck.

Ten wraps one arm around Youngho tentatively, the other arm keeping himself propped up.  "Why wouldn't you see me again?"  He asks softly, pressing soft kisses to the crown of Youngho's head.  "Was it because you couldn't come during the day?  That's okay, you know."

Youngho can't hold back his tears anymore at the tenderness in Ten's voice.  "My mother, she- she found out about us," he chokes out.  "That I'm dating a boy.  She's so pissed; she's furious.  Ten, she's not going to let me see you anymore."

Ten tenses up immediately, grip tightening around Youngho.  "She can't do that."

"She can, and she will," Youngho says, finally pulling away from Ten's chest.  Ten can see now how bad off Youngho looks; his cheeks are stained with tears and his eyes are still puffy and red.  There's the faint bruise in the outline of a hand stretching across one side of his face.  "Ten, she's putting me on lockdown.  I don't know how I'm going to see you anymore."

Ten simply pulls his boyfriend back against his chest and strokes his back gently, trying to calm his cries.  "We'll figure it out, we'll figure something out."

"I wish I could live with you," Youngho says, his arms wrapping tightly around Ten's body.  Despite being the larger of the two, Youngho feels unbelievably small in that moment.  "I don't want to live on land anymore.  I want to live in the ocean with you."

" _Don't_ say that," Ten scolds, pushing his boyfriend away from him.  "Youngho, please, don't say that!"

"But Ten I-"

Ten climbs so he's properly sitting on the rock, tail still hanging in the water, and grabs Youngho's face in both of his hands.  With his thumbs, he gently wipes the tears off of his cheeks.  "Youngho, _please_.  We'll work something out, I know we will.  But you can't think like that, okay?  Promise me you won't."

Youngho swallows back more tears.  "I promise I won't," he whispers.  Both know it's an empty promise, but it's enough for now.  Ten presses a gentle kiss to each of Youngho's teary cheeks before leaning in to kiss his mouth.

They stay in each other's embrace until the sun fully rises and Youngho has to return home, the lingering question of when they would see each other again left unanswered.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) sorry for writing yet another homophobic mother character but whoops it's hard to not fall into the habit of writing what you know : ~ )  
> 2) my tentative goal is to have the final chapter up by august 1, but i'll admit that, while it's planned out, i have very little of it written so far. so tentatively august 1- though if i miss that date, i promise i won't go too late after it.  
> 3) thank you to everyone who has read this story and given positive feedback so far. i love and appreciate you all so much, and hope you will continue to enjoy my story.
> 
> until next time, feel free to find me:  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/jjeonghyuk) // [tumblr](http://seonyein.tumblr.com/) // [nct sideblog](https://00dnghyck.tumblr.com/)  
> ♡♡♡


	3. three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh heck, i'm a little bit later than intended on this update but life has been a lot lately! i also really didn't want to put out something i wasn't proud of because this fic means so much to me. so here it is: the third and final chapter to mermaid au. here's a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/sarahgusa/playlist/4t6rL8pP0h9mhhy7wtf8mR) of some songs that vibe with this fic that i'll probably update more in the future, enjoy.
> 
> just like every other fic i've ever written, i gotta thank clarke for letting me talk mermaid lore with her and for making shitty water puns. and for briefly nicknaming it "Ten and a Fish have a Decent Time .... wait Tens the fish." i lov u buddy ♡
> 
>  
> 
>  **WARNING:**  
>  before you read on, there are mentioned character deaths and something akin to character death in this chapter. i didn't use the 'major character death' warning because it feels too harsh for what actually happens, but i'm warning you here just in case. proceed with caution!

 

\-----

 

Youngho's mother is waiting in the doorway when he returns home, the sun finally up fully.  It feels like a death march approaching her, and he isn't wrong.

She hits him again, screams and curses and spews horrible things.  Youngho takes it all, clinging desperately to the thought of Ten to get him through this all.

When she has finally screamed herself hoarse, she shoves him into his room, locking the door from the outside.

Youngho doesn't let the thought of teal-flushed cheeks and pearly teeth ever leave his mind.

 

\-----

 

It's a coincidence that Taeyong shows up at his house the next day.  Youngho wakes up to the sound of screaming coming from the other room.  He quickly climbs out of his bed, trying to see what the commotion is all about, but he finds the door to his room locked, leaving him trapped.

It's there, pressing his upper body against the door in a desperate attempt to open it, that he hears Taeyong's deep voice.

"You have no right to keep him locked up like this," Youngho hears his friend say.  His voice is surprisingly level, but Youngho can only imagine the pissed off expression on his face.

In desperation, Youngho bangs on the inside of his door.  "Taeyong, get me out!"  He yells, fists pounding against the wooden material.

"Don't think I don't know this is your fault," his mother snaps at Taeyong.  "If I ever catch you on my property again, I'll kill you myself, you hear?"

There's more yelling, mostly just the two cursing at each other, before there's the distinct sound of the front door slamming shut and then-

Silence.

Taeyong is gone, maybe forever.

Youngho and his mother don't speak to each other at all that day.  He is let out briefly to eat dinner, but he quickly returns to his room.

His mother might think she's locking him in, but at least it means she's also locked out.

 

\-----

 

That night, Youngho wakes to the sound of gentle tapping against the window in his room.  The noise is so soft, Youngho almost doesn't acknowledge it.  Only when it persists does he realize that it is, in fact, coming from his window.

When he parts his curtains, the last thing he expects to see is Taeyong staring back at him, face softly illuminated by the glow of the moon.  Quickly and quietly, Youngho slides the window open.

"You came back," Youngho whispers, still staring at his friend in awe.

"You're my best friend, Youngho," Taeyong says, reaching his hand through the window grate to grab onto Youngho's.  "I'm always going to be here for you."

His words are emphasized with a gentle squeeze and Youngho thinks he could cry from such simple affection.

"I have a favor to ask you," Youngho begins, unlacing their fingers.  "I want… I need you to take a message to my boyfriend.  I need him to know that I'm okay, and I need to know he's okay as well."

Taeyong nods immediately.  "Of course.  Just tell me his address.  I don't care how many villages I have to travel through.  I'll take the message to him."

"Ten won't- you can't meet him," he says awkwardly, stumbling on his own words.  He can't reveal Ten's secret, especially when he's locked away and unable to protect him.  "I'll tell you where to leave it but you can't meet him.  He wouldn't want you to."

It's clear from the way that Taeyong bites his lip that he wants to know more, that he has questions waiting on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill out.  But he doesn't ask any of them.  He simple nods and tell Youngho that he'll do whatever he can.

It takes a few moments for Youngho to write a sufficient enough note.  How could he possibly condense all that he feels into a few short words?

"You'll have to leave this at the base of the cliffside," Youngho explains, rolling his simple letter up.  "The… The cliffside from the children's story.  And steal a peach from my mother's garden for him.  He'll like that."

Taeyong nods firmly.  "Stay safe, okay?"  He whispers, before he slips the letter through the grate and disappears into the night.

 

\-----

 

Lockdown would be an understatement for what Youngho is going through.  Youngho spends most of his days locked in, either trapped in his bedroom or doing chores under the intense watch of his mother.  He can't even sneak out of his room anymore; his door is always locked from the outside and windows have always been covered with grates, making it impossible to climb through.  When he does need to leave the house for his jobs, she follows him there, ensuring he's _only_ going to work.  She even shows up ten minutes before his shifts end so she can make sure he returns home without running off.

Taeyong is his only safe haven.  He comes once a week, when the night sky keeps him covered in a blanket of darkness.  Sometimes Taeil and Yoonoh join him as well, but all four of them being together is risky.  Yoonoh especially is always quick to get loud and too much noise is bound to attract his mother's attention.

But Taeyong.  Taeyong is a silent comfort.  He takes the letters Youngho writes and delivers them to the cliffsides, always returning back with shells carved with messages from Ten himself.

The messages are always short and sweet, but they mean the world to Youngho.

_I love you._

_I miss you._

_Please stay strong._

_We'll be together again. I promise._

"Things will get better once school starts up again," Taeyong says quietly, leaning against the window.  He reaches a hand through the grate, running his fingers comfortingly through Youngho's hair.  The older boy sighs and relaxes into the touch; it's the only physical comfort he gets anymore.  "She can't possibly be this strict once you're commuting to and from school every day."

Youngho doesn't say anything; he simply leans further into Taeyong's touch and prays to God his friend is right.

 

\-----

 

One week before classes begin again, Taeyong arrives outside his window holding a small toolbox.  The metal glints in the moonlight.

"I borrowed this from my father's work bench," Taeyong explains, a little abashed.  "I'll get you out.  At least for tonight."

Taeyong works quietly, though the process is slow going.  Most of the screws holding the grate in place are old and rusted over.  They creak and groan and refuse to budge easily.  It takes close to an hour before the grate can finally be moved enough for Youngho to crawl through.  The metal catches and scratches at his skin but nothing could possibly stop him from seeing Ten.

Except that Ten doesn't stay at the cliffsides at night and Youngho can't swim to Ten's cave on his own.

"He won't know I'm coming though," Youngho states, stopping dead in his tracks.

Taeyong pats him gently on the shoulder.  "I might have left him a note of my own, telling him about tonight.  Now go, I'll be waiting here for when you get back."

 

\-----

 

Climbing down the cliffside is familiar and comforting.  He knows each step he has to take and soon enough he's at the rock base, waves splashing lightly at his feet and ankles.

"Ten?" Youngho calls out; his voice is small and nervous, fearful that the ocean will swallow up whatever words he has to say.  He edges closer to the water and calls out again, this time a little louder.

At first there is only the sound of the waves, gentle and constant, but a different type of splashing catches Youngho's attention and sure enough, when he glances down, there is Ten.  In the glow of the moonlight, he shimmers and sparkles.  Everything about him is teal and glowing and absolutely ethereal.

Youngho drops to the ground at the same time that Ten pulls himself out of the water and they meet in a messy kiss, clutching desperately to one another.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," Youngho mumbles out, words muffled against Ten's mouth.  Youngho realizes he's crying and when he pulls back, Ten is crying too; his tears are silver and bright, iridescent in the moonlight.

"I've missed you so much."

 

\-----

 

The moon is starting to dip low in the sky when Youngho returns home, the faintest hints of dawn tinting the horizon green.  Taeyong is asleep, sprawled on the ground beneath Youngho's window.  He shakes his friend gently by the shoulders to wake him.

"You're back?"  He asks, voice rough and eyes bleary with sleep.  Taeyong sits up, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.

Youngho throws his arms around Taeyong's thin body, pulling him into the tight hug.  "I'll never be able to thank you enough for this."

Tentatively, Taeyong hugs back, patting Youngho gently on the back.  "Anything for you."

They spend the rest of the night quietly putting the grate back into place.  Somehow, his room feels less like a prison now.

 

\-----

 

The hopes that things would get easier once school begins are just that- hopes.  In reality, things get worse.  He walks to school the first morning on his own.  His trip is quiet and peaceful, as if he can forget about his mother, even if only for a short while.

Even school itself is pleasant.  He sees Yoonoh on his way in, and is able to sit near Taeyong in their class.  He can almost pretend that everything is normal again.

When classes are dismissed for the day, Youngho and Taeyong head out to the school yard where Yoonoh quickly joins them.  He finds himself on the familiar path home, walking comfortably between his friends.  If Taeil hadn't graduated already, it would feel exactly the same as it always has.  It's just like, even if only for a moment, all the horrors of the summer never even happened.

Until they nearly reach Youngho's home and suddenly his mother is on the path in front of them.  The three boys freeze immediately at the sight of her.  She narrows her eyes at Taeyong.

"I told you if you ever came on my property again, I'd kill you," she states, voice flat and angry.

"Ma'am, please, we're just walking home from school," Yoonoh says, trying to use his pouting babyface to his advantage.

"Don't start with me," she snaps at him.  "Youngho, get in the house now.  And you two better not show your face around here or I swear you'll regret it."

"But mother…"

"Get in the house," she repeats through gritted teeth.  Youngho spares his friends a fleeting glance before he goes, head hung low.

The fleeting hope of freedom in Youngho's heart dies out the second he crosses the threshold into his house.  Of course it was all too good to be true.

 

\-----

 

The bright side is that she cannot touch him when he is at school.  He spends classes sitting next to Taeyong and eats lunches with Yoonoh.  The three try to pretend that things are normal again.  They are still just three friends trying to get through the end of schooling with nothing more difficult going on in their lives.  It's easy to fake normalcy for a few hours.

Until it comes time to walk home from school and the boys part ways, leaving Youngho all alone.  It's in those moments of solitude that Youngho knows his life will never be normal again.

 

\-----

 

Youngho turns eighteen and it hardly feels eventful.  Taeyong and Yoonoh gift him small trinkets and baked sweets from home, little things that would go unnoticed.  It's the only extent of kindness his birthday gives him.  At home, he is ignored and locked away.  He almost prefers that to the days his mother screams at him.

He hasn't seen Ten in months; they've survived being apart from equinox to equinox but being restrained from seeing Ten at all has made the stretch of time so much longer.  He works hard in school and returns home and then is escorted by his mother to his work at the docks.  Day in and day out, he does everything that he can to keep going.

The winds are icy near the water around the dock but they seem to only match how numb Youngho feels inside.  It's easy to work day by day in the cold; everything becomes routine.  Winter melts into spring and with each day Youngho grows more and more restless.  He is practically counting down the days until he is free and then...

Ten would be coming back.

Ten has to come back.

 

\-----

 

Taeyong continues to be the only safe haven he has, especially during school hours.  Their weekly night visits have long since stopped, especially knowing Ten won't return until the spring.  The two meet during breaks in class, where Taeyong listens to Youngho's worries and fills him in on life outside of school.

"I want to leave once I graduate," he admits to Taeyong, voice hushed as they stay tucked in the back of the classroom.  "To move far away from my mother and never come back.  I just don't know how I could ever manage to leave.  I have nothing of my own."

"I'll help you get a boat," Taeyong says quickly.

Youngho's mouth hangs slack in shock.  "Taeyong, I can't… You've already done more than enough for me, you know that."

"My dad has people selling old scrap boats to him all the time," Taeyong continues, ignoring Youngho's protests.  "You know he got Taeilie a job down at the docks.  I'm sure he'd want to help you as well."

Class is called to resume before Youngho can give a proper response.  The remainder of his day is lost in daydreams of being free and finally being with Ten.

 

\-----

 

"The day after graduation," Taeyong says, voice sturdy like he's making a declaration.

"What about it?"  Youngho asks, head resting on his desk.  The impending end of school had been both a blessing and a curse.  He longed to finish his schooling and never come back, but there was still the fear of what he'd do once he was done.

"That's the day my father will have a boat ready for you," he explains.  "That's the day you can be free."

Youngho shoots up in his seat, jaw hanging slack.  "Taeyong, you… Did you really get me a boat?"

He nods, looking rather pleased with himself.  "It's just something small my father had lying around but it's enough to get you out of here."

Youngho throws his arms around his friend, hiding his face in his neck for fear of crying.  He can hear the quiet whispers of classmates around them, knows what rumors having been swirling around the two of them, but none of it matters.  Ten is the only thing on his mind.

"I'd offer for you to stay with me," Taeyong explains awkwardly, worming his way out of Youngho's grasp.  "But I figured you had other places you'd want to go."

"I don't know why the teachers keeps giving you poor grades, you can be pretty smart sometimes," Youngho laughs, even when Taeyong punches him in the arm.  

"Don't be mean when I'm trying to help," he chides, but his face quickly softens.  "Youngho, I love you, I just want what's best for you."

The teacher calls the class to assemble, but not before Youngho smiles brightly at Taeyong.  "I love you too, man."

 

\-----

 

Graduation is an empty accomplishment.  There is no fancy ceremony, no pomp and circumstance.  Yoonoh congratulates him on school grounds and somehow, Youngho feels like it might be the last time he evers sees his friend.

He and Taeyong make final arrangements for the next day.  Youngho will leave, bright and early, before he joins Taeyong and they go to the docks together.  Not even between the two of them is there much celebration.  So many years of schooling and friendship and all they have left between them at this point is the desperate hope for escape.

 

\-----

 

Even when he returns home from school, there is no real celebration.  His dad is too sick to even get out of bed, leaving Youngho alone with his mother.

He sits in silence at the dinner table with her that night, staring blankly down at his plate.  It's now or never, he decides.

"I'm leaving.  Tomorrow.  I've got my own boat and I'm going far away.  So far away, you'll never have to see me again," Youngho announces, eyes staying locked on his plate.  When he doesn't get any response, he speaks again.  "You'll never have to think about your screw up of a son ever again."

"I don't have a son," his mother declares coldly, not even sparing him a glance.

Silence resumes at the table for the rest of the meal.

 

\-----

 

It doesn't take long for Youngho to pack the small amount of items he owns, fitting them all neatly into two duffel bags.  To the surprise of no one, his mother doesn't leave her room to bid him farewell.

Instead, his father is waiting by the front door, slumped over as he rests in a chair.  Even from across the room, his labored breathing is highly audible.

Youngho wakes him gently, shaking him by the shoulder.

The look his father gives him is one of guilt and regret.  "Oh Youngho," he starts, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, dad," Youngho offers weakly.

"Don't apologize," his father says, grabbing Youngho's hands with his own.  They're bony, the skin grayish in color.  It's clear just how badly the sickness is getting to him.  "If anyone should apologize, it should be me.  I never… I never should have let her treat you like that."

It seems that he has more to say, but a bad coughing fit cuts him off.  He tears his hands away from Youngho, desperate to cover his mouth.  It hurts to see his father so vulnerable, especially knowing this is the last time he'll ever see him.

When the coughing subsides, Youngho leans down, wrapping his arms around his father's shoulders.

"I forgive you," he says quietly, before kissing his father on the forehead.

There are tears in his father's eyes, but Youngho's feel surprisingly dry.  His father holds out his hand again, though this time it's filled with coins.

"I don't know where you plan to go but please, I want to help," he explains, pushing the coins at Youngho.

But Youngho knows he can't accept them.  He wraps his hand around his father's and gently curls his father's bony fingers back around the coins.  "Keep them for your medicine," Youngho says, taking a step back.  He scoops up his bags-the culmination of eighteen years of his life, stuffed down into two simple bags- and starts towards the door.  "Tell mom I said goodbye."

With the door shut behind him, Youngho listens to his father coughing one last time before he walks away, refusing to look back.

 

\-----

 

Taeyong meets him down the street from his house.  He quickly takes one of Youngho's bags from him and helps him carry it.

"It's barely more than a rowboat, but it should be enough to get you started," he explains as they head towards the docks.

"I want you to meet Ten," Youngho blurts out.  It seems to catch Taeyong off guard as he stumbles to a halt.  "Please.  After everything you've done for us.  I want you to meet him."

Taeyong starts to walk again and nods slowly.  "Okay.  Yeah, I'd like that."

 

\-----

 

The boat _is_ a rowboat, despite whatever Taeyong might claim.  But it's a beacon of freedom and Youngho has never been more thankful for anything in his entire life.

The boat wobbles nervously under their combined weights before leveling out.  Youngho leads them slowly away from the dock and begins the tedious trip around the village, heading towards the cliffs he's begun to consider home.  Taeyong doesn't question anything; he sits quietly in the boat and allows Youngho to lead them.

They bypass the cliffsides, the place of so many of Youngho's memories with Ten, and instead they head directly to the cave.

The mouth of the cave is small, but the rowboat is even smaller.  Taeyong finally starts shifting anxiously, unsure why Youngho was taking him into a cave.  Youngho leads the small boat in until they reach the rocky insides.  He ties the boat to one of the rocks sticking out and climbs onto the flat ground, offering a hand to Taeyong as well.

"Where is…"

"Ten?"  Youngho both completes Taeyong's question and calls his boyfriend's name.  "Ten, I want you to meet someone."

There's a moment of quiet before the water surface breaks and Ten peaks his head out, only his eyes and nose above the water.  His eyes narrow at the sight of Taeyong, who in comparison is wide-eyed and slack-jawed.  It's obvious he's suspicious that his first time seeing Youngho in months would also feature another human.

"This is Taeyong," Youngho explains, sitting down on the rocks and letting his ankles dangle into the water.  "He's the one who helped us be together."

Ten drops back under the water and Youngho knows he's just being dramatic.  He can see the faint ripple effect as Ten swims closer, staying hidden far enough under the water.  When he reaches the rocks the two humans are on, he finally surfaces, this time pushing his entire upper body out of the water.  He looks less serious now, eyes crinkled as he smiles, pearly teeth on full display.

"It's nice to finally met you," Ten announces.

Taeyong quickly drops to his knees, as if the shock of everything has knocked his legs out from underneath him.  "You're- you're not…"

"I'm Youngho's boyfriend," Ten clarifies, mouth curling into a cheeky grin.  It's clear he finds Taeyong's shock to be rather amusing.

Youngho kicks a leg out to splash at Ten.  "Be nice," he hisses, but he's smiling anyway.  "Taeyong, this is Ten.  He's a mermaid."

"Mermaid," Taeyong chokes out, nodding blankly.  He falls silent after that, simply continuing to stare at Ten with wide eyes.  He drops from his knees to flat on his butt, continuing to stare blankly.  "This definitely explains a lot."

"Now you understand why I couldn't tell you, right?"  Youngho asks.

Taeyong ignores his friend and inches closer to the water edge, holding a tentative hand out for Ten to shake.  The mermaid is eager to, maybe even a little too eager.

"It's really nice to finally meet you, Ten," Taeyong says when he finally pulls his hand out of Ten's death grip.  His voice is soft and genuine.  Ten's face breaks into a big grin, beaming and bright.  "So a… Mermaid?"

Ten makes a dramatic showing of falling back into the water before raising his tail high in the air; even in the dull light of the cave, he still shimmers and sparkles, like his personality is all the light he needs to glow.  Of course, he ruins the moment by slamming his tail on the water and splashing both Taeyong and Youngho.

After that, it's easy to fall into conversation.  Taeyong finally asks all the questions he has been harboring for months and for once, Youngho can answer them all honestly.

Youngho eventually takes his shirt off, climbing in the water to properly join Ten.  He kisses him when he finally swims up to him and realizes it's their first kiss since the night Taeyong broke him out so many months ago.  Ten's kisses are still warm and maybe the slightest bit salty; it's unbelievably familiar and Youngho can't believe how much he has missed the sensation.  Shortly after, Taeyong finally dares to join them in the water.

The three stay together for close to an hour, talking and playing.  Ten takes to Taeyong quickly, like they had been friends for years.  The shock of the whole _mermaid_ thing does finally ware off, and Taeyong seems rather fond of Ten as well.  In Youngho's unbiased opinion, he thinks it would be impossible for anyone not to be fond of Ten.

But all good things must come to an end as Taeyong announces he needs to get back home.  Youngho tells Ten to stay in the cave while he takes Taeyong back to land.

When Youngho rows them out of the cave and back towards the docks, both boys remain silent.  There isn't much left to be said between them.  They hug for a long time once they reach the dock; it remains unspoken, but they both know that this will certainly be their final meeting.

"Take care of yourself, Youngho," Taeyong says quietly, voice muffled against Youngho's shoulder.  "I'm glad you found someone who loves you like Ten does."

"You'll find something like that too, I promise, Taeyong," Youngho declares, pulling away from the hug to pat Taeyong on the cheek.  "Anyone would be a fool not to love you."

Taeyong smiles sadly.  "My type has never been too smart."

They don't talk about it.  Instead, they hug one more time before Youngho climbs back into his small boat.

He thinks he should feel guilty, but it's hard to have a heavy heart when he knows he's finally returning to Ten.

 

\-----

 

The first week they spend together is almost entirely spent in the cave.  Youngho takes his small boat out a few times.  He sits out in the water, spending his afternoons fishing; Ten usually stays in the vicinity, periodically swimming up and handing fish he caught himself over to Youngho.

With enough fish, he heads to the nearby ports, exchanging fish for money, money for food and other supplies.  It works for them.

All that matters to Youngho is that he's finally with Ten.  He'd make anything work for that.

 

\-----

 

"Let's move south together," Ten suggests one afternoon as the two float lazily around in the water.  "If we go now, we can find somewhere to settle down.  Then when the equinox rolls around, we won't have to leave."

"Okay," Youngho says quickly.  "Wherever you want to go."

So they leave.  Just like that, Youngho packs his items into his small boat and lets Ten lead them out into the water and onto the next adventure.

 

\-----

 

It takes many days of traveling.  At night, Youngho would dock his small boat and find a local inn to stay in while Ten would find places hidden away to stay.  Come morning, they would reunite and continue on the the next location.

It's almost three weeks of traveling before Ten decides they can stop.  

There is a village nearby, small and quaint.  Like every other seaside village, their main business is fishing; it's promising to Youngho.  He and Ten can truly make a life for themselves here.

"I'll have to stay in inns until we find somewhere for the both of us," Youngho says with a frown.  "I don't like being that far away from you for so long."

"I'm a big boy, Youngho," Ten says, rolling his eyes before dipping back underwater.  He resurfaces quickly, water droplets clinging to him like precious gems.  "I'll be okay on my own, you know."

"Who says you're the one I'm worried about?"

Ten laughs brightly before he grabs the edge of the rowboat and pulls himself slightly out of the water.  "Come on, you baby.  Give me a kiss before you leave."

No matter how many kisses the two exchange, Youngho doesn't think he will ever get used to it.  Ten's kisses are always warm and gentle; sometimes it feels hard to tell where Youngho's lips end and Ten's lips begin, as though together they form one singular entity.  Youngho doesn't _want_ to get used to Ten's kisses.  He wants them to always feel as magical as the first one.

Similarly, he doesn't think he'll ever get used to saying goodbye to Ten.  He doesn't think he wants to.

 

\-----

 

It takes awhile before Youngho finds it: a small, secluded fishing house with a singular dock.  The house is tucked away in the bends of the oceanside, no other houses in site.  The dock is short, but Youngho only has his simple rowboat.  It's plain and simple and absolutely perfect.

Not to mention entirely out of Youngho's price range.  His income is unsteady at best.  Having to stay in inns nightly has rapidly depleted his supply of gold and the money he earns from fishing can't quite keep up with the expenses.

But he goes to see the woman who owns the house anyway.  Her name is Soonhee and she lives at the nearby lighthouse, the singular beacon of protection for the village.  She's old, with hair white as snow and deep wrinkles covering her face.

She glares at Youngho when he explains that he wants the house but doesn't have the money.

"I may be old but I'm not stupid, boy," Soonhee remarks with a frown, her voice crackling and worn.  "I ain't gonna give you my house for free."

"I'm not asking for you to give it to me for free!"  He protests.  "I'll pay for it over time.  I fish!  I don't have the money now but I will.  I just… I can't explain it to you, but I need to be by the ocean and this is the only place close enough.  Please."

She stares at him for a long moment, eyes sharp and intense.  Youngho worries her glare might actually kill him.  Then just like that, she softens.

"You've fallen in love with the ocean, haven't ya?"  She asks finally.

Youngho blinks a few times in confusion.  "What do you mean?"

"No one has wanted to live in that secluded shack for years and yet you're desperate for it," Soonhee explains, nodding to herself.  "And with good reason.  You're in love with the ocean."

There's something in her tone, something in the way her eyes pick Youngho apart, that makes it clear _she knows_.  He can't explain how or why but she knows about mermaids and she knows that Youngho is in love with one.

He finally faults under her stares, eyes dropping down to his own hands.  "Yeah, I am," he says quietly.

"Monthly rent," she declares suddenly.  "I'll accept monthly rent and periodically some of your best fish.  As long as you'll sometimes visit me and tell me stories about the one you love."

"How do you… know about that?"  Youngho words himself carefully; he's fearful that maybe she doesn't know, maybe she has no idea what mermaids are.  He can't simply out Ten like this.

"Because I was in love with the ocean once too," she says sadly.  "But that's a story for a different day.  Now get out of here before I change my mind."

 

\-----

 

Youngho moves in immediately; it takes no time at all to unpack as he is still living out of his two bags.

He's quick to take his boat out to the cave Ten has been staying in.

"What's got you all smiley?"  Ten asks after he has greeted his boyfriend with a kiss.

"Come with me, I want to show you something," Youngho says and leads Ten out of the cave.  They take the long way around, careful to avoid the usual fishing grounds and not get too close to the shore where prying eyes might spot Ten.

It isn't long before they reach the small bay, Youngho's house and dock the only things visible on the shore.

"This is where I live," he explains, absolutely beaming.

Ten's jaw hangs open in amazement, eyes flickering all around as he takes in everything.  He then turns to Youngho, eyes still wide.  "Its wonderful!"

Ten clamores onto the edge of the rowboat, making grabby hands at Youngho's face.  When he finally grabs him and pulls him into a kiss, Youngho feels all his fears and worries melt away.

This is truly a place he could call home.

 

\-----

 

"The woman who is letting me rent this house," Youngho begins, lying face down on the dock with his arm dangling in the water.  "She knew about you somehow.  That I was _in love with the ocean_."

Ten lets out a quiet hum from where he's lazing in the water below Youngho.  "That's very old school mermaid phrasing," he says lightly.  "Maybe I know the mermaid.  My school had a lot of connections in this area."

"Ten, she's like ninety, I don't think her lover is still around," Youngho explains.  "It was all very… Past tense when she mentioned it."

Ten frowns.  "Youngho, mermaids can live for hundreds of years.  If he isn't around anymore…"

Youngho shifts so he can hang his head off the dock, just inches above where Ten is.  "I'll keep you safe," Youngho assures him.  "Whatever bad thoughts you're having, I promise, I'll keep you safe."

Ten stares at him for a long moment before he pushes himself upwards, lips connecting with Youngho's.

They kiss languidly, almost lazy.  It has been weeks of traveling and spending days apart, this is the first chance they've had just to kiss.  There is no rush, no need to move faster.  Youngho and Ten can simply press into one another for as long as they want, hidden away in their own private bay.

Ten is a vibrant shade of teal when they do pull apart.  The color washes through his cheeks, the tips of his ears, all the way down to his shoulders and chest.  Youngho isn't much better, his entire face burning hot.

They don't say I love you when they finally separate; they don't need to.  They say it in the way they break into giggles, the way they breathe out each other's names, the way they dive back in to kiss yet again.  There's no need to say it outloud when everything they do tells the other exactly what they need to know: _I_ _love_ _you_.

 

\-----

 

The first official journey up to Soonhee's lighthouse is even more nerve wrecking than when Youngho went to ask to rent the house.  He knocks loudly on the front door and waits for what feels like an eternity for her to answer.

The door opens slowly, revealing Soonhee's wrinkled face.  She looks softer this time, as though she's been anticipating Youngho's visit.  All the years of loneliness and cynicism have faded off of her.

"I was wondering when you'd work up the nerve to come visit me," she says with a laugh.  Youngho can see that years of laughter have formed deep crow's feet around her eyes.  She is hardly the woman he first met.  "Now come, come, sit.  I'll make you some tea."

They sit quietly at her table for a while, sipping at too-hot tea while Youngho fiddles awkwardly with his mug.

"So, Youngho, tell me.  How'd you fall in love with the ocean?"

Youngho promptly chokes on his tea.  It takes a few coughs before he can get any words out.  "Ten.  His name is Ten.  He saved me from drowning once."

"Ten," she nods as though in thought.  "That's a lovely name.  He must be lovely."

Youngho flushes.  "He is.  He's the most lovely being I've ever met."

After that, conversation flows easily.  Soonhee asks question after question about Ten, curious to hear all about his relationship with Ten.  Youngho is thankful for it.  He has never gotten the opportunity to be so open about Ten.  It's like a giant weight has been lifted off his chest to share all these things he has stored up inside over the last three years.  And Soonhee listens to it all with a wistful smile, making passing remarks about similarities between Ten and her own lover.

Neither even notice that their tea has long since gone cold; it's only when the sky starts to turn orange with the setting sun that Youngho realizes how much time has passed.

"Ahjumma, I have to get home," he explains, rising quickly from his chair.  "I promise, I'll come back soon."

Soonhee sees him to the door.  "Tell Ten I said hello.  I think he'd like that."

 

\-----

 

Summer turns into autumn and the weather barely changes.  The equinox comes and goes while Ten and Youngho never have to acknowledge it.  There is no looming expiration date on their time together anymore.  It's like they have all the time in the world for each other.

Youngho spends mornings and evenings out on his small dock or swimming in the water, anything to spend time with Ten.  During the peak hours of the day, he takes his boat way out into the ocean to fish.  Ten usually joins him, unless too many other humans are also out fishing.

Then he takes trips to the markets; he trades his fish for coins and his coins for other grocery items.  When he has extra, he buys the ripest peaches he can find, knowing that Ten misses the sweet fruit of his mother's garden.

Every other week, Youngho makes the trek up the cliffside trails to Soonhee's lighthouse, where they sit and share stories.  Soonhee continues to be reserved about her own stories; Youngho knows little more than that she loved a mermaid who has since passed away.  She instead prefers listening to Youngho, basking in the way he praises Ten.

Before Youngho has even noticed, autumn has given way to winter.  The routine goes on.

 

\-----

 

Youngho turns nineteen on an exceptionally warm day.  The sun shines brightly overhead and there isn't a cloud in the sky to ruin it.  Youngho basks in it, going so far as to wear short sleeves when he ventures out to visit Ten; it has never been warm for his birthday before.

He ventures down to the water around noon, the sun resting directly above him.  He needs to call Ten's name only once before his boyfriend quickly surfaces in front of him at the dock.

"Hey you," Youngho says with a grin, sitting down on the dock so his feet dangle in the water.

"Good morning, birthday boy," Ten smiles, grabbing the edge of the dock and hoisting himself far enough up that Youngho can lean down and kiss him.  Ten himself didn't have much interest in birthdays; aging for mermaids didn't work quite the same way and he couldn't understand why humans would want to celebrate their ' _slow decline towards death_ '.  He'd quickly changed that attitude when he realized Youngho actually liked birthdays.  "I got you something."

"You know you didn't need to do anything for me," Youngho says, though inside he's rather excited.  It feels like he hasn't properly celebrated a birthday in years, and he has certainly never celebrated one with Ten before.

Ten lightly touches his ankle, dangling in the warm water, before he drops under completely.  It's a long moment before he resurfaces, holding his hands out to Youngho.  There, laying across his palms, is a necklace.  It's beautiful, woven together out of pearls and shells.  It glimmers and sparkles in the overhead sunlight and Youngho's breath catches in his throat.

"Ten, it's so beautiful," he whispers, reaching out to take the delicate chain out of Ten's hands.  Up close it's even more beautiful; the pearls are bright and milky white while the shells are various shades of blues and teals.  Everything about it reminds him of Ten.  "It's the second most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Ten's mouth twitches slightly into a frown; he almost looks offended.  "What's the first?"

"You."

It's worth the full-force splash Ten sends his way just to see that beautiful teal flush wash over his face.

 

\-----

 

Youngho goes to see Soonhee the day after his birthday, a fresh selection of flounder in a basket he tucks under his arm.  She greets him with a warm smile and a mug of tea.

"What a beautiful necklace," she remarks, reaching a wrinkled hand across the table to touch the shells.  "Oh to be young and in love again."

Her hands fall away, falling back to her own neck where a string of pearls rests daintily along her collar.  It looks like it pains her to even touch the necklace.

"Ahjumma, please," Youngho starts, fiddling with the mug in front of him.  "You've still never told me about what happened to the mermaid you were in love with."

She lets out a sigh and turns to stare out the window.  "I knew you'd ask eventually," she says quietly.  "His name was Kaito.  He was the most beautiful being I've ever seen; crafted by the gods he was.  He saved me from drowning when I was a young woman, kind of like how Ten saved you.

"I couldn't tell you how it happened but we fell in love.  I lived alone in that house you're in now, so he would come and spend the afternoons with me.  He said there were fishermen encroaching on the area him and his school were staying.  I begged him and begged him to stay in the bay of the house where he'd be safe, but he refused to leave his family."

Her eyes have grown glassy.  "What happened to him?"  Youngho asks softly, afraid he already knows the end of this story.

"One day he simply didn't show up," she shrugs.  "One day turned into two days, two days turned into a week, a week turned into a month, and so on, but he never came back.  I waited in that house for years hoping he'd come back to me.  But he never did."

"I'm so sorry," Youngho says, unable to look up from his mug.  He thinks of Ten and tries to imagine a life without him but he simply can't.  It's impossible to imagine how much pain Soonhee had gone through.

"It's been decades now," Soonhee explains, dabbing at her glassy eyes with a napkin.  "But I still wonder if he'll come back.  That's why I got this lighthouse- I keep thinking he might see the light and finally come back home to me."

They sit in silence for a long time.  Youngho takes small sips of his tea while Soonhee continues to gaze out the window, lost in the memories of her former love.

When Youngho finally rises to leave, she grabs one of his hands, holding it firmly between her two wrinkled hands.  "Don't let him go, Youngho," she orders.  "If you've got him and you love him, please don't let him go."

Youngho squeezes her hand lightly.  "I don't ever plan to."

 

\-----

 

Youngho is quick to climb into the water when he returns home from his visit, immediately pulling Ten into kiss after hurried kiss.

"What's gotten into you?"  Ten asks, pulling away with an airy laugh.  His cheeks are a faint teal and his lips are starting to bruise blue from how hard Youngho had kissed him.

"I love you so much, Ten," he declares, kissing him again.  "I don't ever want to lose you."

Ten pulls him closer and kisses him back.  "You're not gonna get rid of me that easily."

 

\-----

 

A few weeks after Youngho's birthday, he comes down with the flu.  He can barely get out of bed to visit Ten, who flits around the dock anxiously, trying to do anything he can to help Youngho.

It's a week before he can finally go into the village to visit the doctor for medicine.

It costs a pretty penny, all the money he had saved up for his next rent payment gone in the blink of an eye.  But his livelihood depends on him going out and fishing, something he can't do if he's still sick.

It's another week before he's well enough to take his boat out, but even then, nothing bites.

Ten surfaces periodically, giving him a fish or two he grabbed in the water.  He fishes pearls out of clams' mouths and scoops up the prettiest conch shells he can find.

But in the end, they both know it isn't enough for rent.  It's barely enough for groceries.

Ten stares up at him in the boat and smiles reassuringly.  "We'll just try again tomorrow."

 

\-----

 

When tomorrow arrives, the clouds on the horizon are dark and ominous.  Youngho pays it no mind when he sets out, too focused on the thought of making up his rent payment to Soonhee.

"I really don't think you should be out here today," Ten says anxiously, flitting back and forth around the boat.

Youngho smiles down at him from over the edge.  "I've got you with me," he remarks.  "Nothing can go wrong when you're with me."

"That isn't how that works," Ten frowns, but Youngho is already rowing away, intentionally oblivious to what Ten is saying.

The water is surprisingly calm as Youngho rows farther and farther out; the air is completely still, as though the entire world is holding its breath.  Not even the fish are out, leaving Youngho with empty lines, one after another.

Just as the sky grows even darker, Ten is growing more and more restless.  He flits back and forth near the boat, almost never leaving the surface as if afraid he would lose track of Youngho otherwise.

"Youngho, I really think we should go back," he says, voice pitched slight higher in distress.  "I've got a really bad feeling about this."

"But I haven't caught anything yet," Youngho sighs, pulling in another empty line.  Ten shoots him an anxious glare and it's enough to break Youngho's resolve.  "Okay, we can go home."

As Ten lets out a sigh of relief, the rest of the world also stops holding its breath.  A gust of wind cuts through the air and rocks Youngho's boat, rattling it to the point where he has to clutch the edges for balance.

Once he regains himself, Youngho quickly begins to row, following a frantic Ten.  It doesn't take long before the waves begin to roll through, lifting and shifting Youngho's boat, making it impossible to stay on a set path.

"Youngho, we need to-"

A bright bolt of lightning cut across the darkened sky and Ten is cut off by the first clap of thunder, violent and booming as it shakes the world around them.  Then comes the rain.  It wastes no time in beginning to pour, almost immediately coming down in sheets.

Ten is clutching at the front of the boat, leaning up into it to look at Youngho.  "We need to get out of here before it gets worse."

It's tough to hear him over the roar of the ocean, angered by the storm swirling around them, but Youngho agree with Ten's statement.

Rowing does not get any easier.  He tries to follow Ten as best as he can, fighting the waves with every row of his oars.  Ten glances back every few seconds; there's obvious panic on his face, as though he thinks he'll turn around to see Youngho has vanished.

Youngho can faintly make out the sight of Soonhee's lighthouse, a faint glow far out on the horizon.  It's a sign of safety, a sign of home.  He just needs to make it a little further.

Thunder cuts off his train of thought, sounding simultaneously as another bolt of lightening streaks through the sky.  For a moment, Youngho feels blinded, stopping his rowing as he is unable to find Ten in the water.  It's a mistake for him to stop moving.  Time feels like it stands still as the wave hits him.

Youngho is nineteen when his small ship can't endure the storm anymore and he is unceremoniously dumped into the ocean.  There's waves crashing over him and the thunderous sound of the ocean pounding in his ears.  It's disorienting as he fights to find his way to the surface and only gets knocked deeper down.

Youngho can't find Ten, even in his struggle to swim.  His chest starts to feel tighter and tighter as the water throws him around and the oxygen in his lungs starts to run out.  Yet nothing he does seems to bring him any closer to breaking out of the water.  Even just moving is growing increasingly difficult as his chest aches and the waves bruise him with every crash.  All he can focus on is the darkness surrounding him and his need to _survive._

He faintly aware of Ten's panicked screaming, of familiar hands grabbing at him, of his own body sinking lower and lower, and of his lungs threatening to burst at any moment.  And then.

_Uphoria._

He gives up his fight and let's the ocean rush into his mouth and down his lungs.  At the same time, he finds Ten pressing their mouths together, trying to breathe life back into him before it's too late.

 

\-----

 

A thousand miles away, Youngho's mother sits alone in her home, gazing out the window at her wilting fruit.  She has been alone for three months, Youngho's father finally having succumbed to sickness.  Not a day goes by where she doesn't think of her son.

At the same time, a thousand miles away, Yoonoh absentmindedly works on class assignments, daydreaming of graduation and freedom and asking the girl of his dreams out on a date.  

Taeil is also out at sea, a thousand miles away where the waves are calm and the sun beams brightly.  He lazily reels fish in and thinks of his wife back at home, her stomach round with months of pregnancy.

And then there's Taeyong, far away from Youngho _and_ home.  He has moved to an island far away, where he can hold hands with his boyfriend and feel no shame.  He is in love and so happy but sometimes, late at night, his thoughts stray to his best friend and wonders how things could have been different.  Sometimes he has to press his mouth against his boyfriend's to stop the wrong name from falling out of his lips.

Closest of all is Soonhee.  She sits high up in her lighthouse, watching the storm that is crashing all around her.  She keeps the light going strong, hopefully that even if she couldn't say Kaito, maybe her light can at least save someone.

None of them know that Youngho is going to drown.

Life goes on.

 

\-----

 

Youngho wakes up lying on sand, Ten's arms clutching him desperately.  Ten's skin feels warm yet it's like they aren't even touching, like there's no pressure against his own skin.  It takes a moment before Youngho realizes he's underwater.

With the ocean pressing down all around him, Youngho understands suddenly why Ten always found such comfort in it.

Ten sobs as he clutches on Youngho's body; his tears are glowing and beautiful, dispersing into the water like liquid silver.  "I'm sorry I couldn't save you," Ten cries, pulling Youngho's body tight to his chest.

Ten's eyes are closed.  Youngho can't help but think that if he would just open his eyes, he'd see.  Youngho is here and awake and looking at Ten so why won't Ten look back at him?

Youngho rises up from Ten but his body is still on the ocean floor, held tight in Ten's grasp.  He looks at himself; he looks almost peaceful with his eyes shut softly and his hair swaying gently across his face; even his lips make him seem peaceful, slightly parted as though he is mid-snore.  The necklace from Ten shifts and shimmers around his neck.  No one would ever guess that he is dead.  His spirit floats weightlessly in the water, his form glowing the same silvery color of Ten's tears.  He reaches out to brush away Ten's tears, moving through the water like air, and the mermaid finally looks up at him, dumbfounded.

Youngho smiles at him, his own teeth pearly and bright.

"So this is what it feels like to finally be home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gOSH and that's the end, thank you to everyone who has read this fic and stuck with me until the end. all of your love and support means so much to me and i can never thank you enough. i'm posting this final chapter rather late at night so if you catch any mistakes that my tired eyes have missed, just let me know. i'll probably proof over the entire thing in the next few days and fix any minor mistakes i missed.
> 
> i'm not sure what my next fic is going to be but until then, feel free to find me:  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/jjeonghyuk) // [tumblr](http://seonyein.tumblr.com/) // [nct sideblog](https://00dnghyck.tumblr.com/)  
> ♡♡♡
> 
> also @ me on twitter if you want to know this spoiler but i feel worse about writing ********** ******** than i do about ******* ****** oops.


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